tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5124770754805827894.post6970761482685385113..comments2023-06-15T11:59:39.572-04:00Comments on DYVERS: Hold Me Close, but If I Say Orangejello, Let Go.Dyvershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06032957275132817602noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5124770754805827894.post-462795614735833032014-01-12T01:05:44.584-05:002014-01-12T01:05:44.584-05:00I see your point. Guess I was just playing Devil&#...I see your point. Guess I was just playing Devil's Advocate for a second so I could think of a situation where this idea of a safe word would make sense. As I said in my comment, I pretty much agree with you that having a safe word is a weird concept and we should be able to deal with things like this as adults and talk it out. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10319177216467599283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5124770754805827894.post-2358842936879084142014-01-12T00:03:08.095-05:002014-01-12T00:03:08.095-05:00Dude, you're absolutely right. Thank you for p...Dude, you're absolutely right. Thank you for posting this insightful response. Dyvershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06032957275132817602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5124770754805827894.post-20379622084836644822014-01-12T00:01:45.597-05:002014-01-12T00:01:45.597-05:00No, see I completely disagree with you here Andrew...No, see I completely disagree with you here Andrew civis. I think that if someone is foolish enough to put out that sort of bigoted attitude that they deserve to have their asses kicked. <br /><br />My approach seems to be too direct for many people, but I will not tolerate a bigot. Dyvershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06032957275132817602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5124770754805827894.post-65075317042751561032014-01-11T10:44:38.458-05:002014-01-11T10:44:38.458-05:00It seams to me that with the vast flow of informat...It seams to me that with the vast flow of information presented by the internet, and the ability to play games that once required in person contact, a problem has arisen. this problem has been seen before and will be seen again. People who are immature have platforms to run games without the requisite social skills of setting it up.<br />We don't need safe words, we need mature GMs. The Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15778485966371621618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5124770754805827894.post-78665855177703447972014-01-11T10:29:34.501-05:002014-01-11T10:29:34.501-05:00firstly, jumping up and ranting is a sign that som...firstly, jumping up and ranting is a sign that somebody needs a time out. The GM should take them aside and talk with them about that sort of behavior, it indicates that a quiet alternative is unlikely to be used. <br />Taking them aside and talking to them Calmly(Even if they try to continue ranting) is the best thing for that situation. Disregarding and telling them to F-off and not play, or Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15778485966371621618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5124770754805827894.post-74053964676277333382014-01-11T10:07:29.795-05:002014-01-11T10:07:29.795-05:00Andrew, before this conversation gets started, I w...Andrew, before this conversation gets started, I would like to say that I don't play with homophobes or racists as I tend to go out of my way to confront and push them out of my life. It's caused me to have a bit of a reputation so I don't have that problem. <br /><br />Anyway, in the situation you just described I would want the fight, the argument, and the shattering of the group. IDyvershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06032957275132817602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5124770754805827894.post-9686984015163777572014-01-11T09:55:43.551-05:002014-01-11T09:55:43.551-05:00While I can see the argument that it would be usef...While I can see the argument that it would be useful in those situations, I find that providing that option is a red flag. To me it says that a GM has no ability to deal with the game if it starts to get out of hand. Part of his responsibility as a GM is to ensure that the game is fun, making people uncomfortable and allowing his players to do so is a red flag that this guy can't stand up forDyvershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06032957275132817602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5124770754805827894.post-8749909161774282372014-01-11T09:52:25.461-05:002014-01-11T09:52:25.461-05:004. "Lots of females have to consider: why wo...4. "Lots of females have to consider: why would she would want to play games with gamers or GMs she doesn't know if she may have to suffer silently through nudge-nudge-wink-wink real-man antics. Nothing she says is going to set them straight. Speaking up only invites abuse and the same freaking outcome every time: always always always, her ONLY real option is to leave the table. Change Dyvershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06032957275132817602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5124770754805827894.post-45001319231259344972014-01-11T09:51:58.688-05:002014-01-11T09:51:58.688-05:00Let me work my way through each of your points as ...Let me work my way through each of your points as you've said a lot and I don't want to miss anything.<br /><br />1.) "You say you're upset that someone may not feel it's safe to call you on something in your game...in a rant...in which you label not-feeling-safe as being childish."<br /><br />Actually I label not speaking up and hiding behind a "safe word" as Dyvershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06032957275132817602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5124770754805827894.post-31376579456066500462014-01-11T08:44:43.495-05:002014-01-11T08:44:43.495-05:00I think that "speaking up" in the sort o...I think that "speaking up" in the sort of confrontational way you suggest in this post wouldn't be particularly helpful. When people receive that sort of confrontational behavior, they will feel attacked and their impulse will be to defend rather than accept the criticism and change their behavior.<br />And if you go on the offense and then they go on the defense, then you have whatAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05077116392950757591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5124770754805827894.post-37478930023351992672014-01-11T03:06:16.723-05:002014-01-11T03:06:16.723-05:00I find the idea behind a "safe word" in ...I find the idea behind a "safe word" in RPGs weird as well. Like you said in your post, most of us are adults and we should be able to speak up when something makes us uncomfortable. If you're playing with a group of friends who are there to have fun, it shouldn't be hard to say, "Hey, does anyone feel like [situation X] has gone a little too far?" <br /><br />WheneverAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10319177216467599283noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5124770754805827894.post-14803371162066451932014-01-11T02:46:10.219-05:002014-01-11T02:46:10.219-05:00I'll speak up. I have a problem with this. Y...I'll speak up. I have a problem with this. You say you're upset that someone may not feel it's safe to call you on something in your game...in a rant...in which you label not-feeling-safe as being childish. <br /><br />Let's stop for a minute. The X-card's purpose is for low-trust situations--specifically, cons and larps/games which by the nature of their duration, Auzumelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09745556063535219123noreply@blogger.com