". . . [M]an's feeling of homelessness, of alienation has been intensified in the midst of a bureaucratized, impersonal mass society. He has come to feel himself an outsider even within his own human society. He is trebly alienated: a stranger to God, to nature, and to the gigantic social apparatus that supplies his material wants . . . But the worst and final form of alienation, towards which indeed the others tend, is man's alienation from his own self . . ." (Barrett, 35-36)
I suffer from existential doubt and struggle with the meaninglessness of my own life and the world around me. It makes me callous and difficult to live with; yet thankful for the blessed mercies that show up when I most assuredly don't deserve them. This is not me lamenting the way my mind works. Rather it is a recognition of a failing in my character.
I have lots of failings in my character and many moments in my life where I struggle with the choices I am to make, and have made. I'm not alone though there are people out there who would like to pretend that I am. I am tired of pretending that my internal struggles solely exist within my own head and that no one else in the world understands what I'm going through or has been through it - as both those thoughts are complete and utter bullshit. So this series is going to be an opportunity for each of us to recognize our sins and failures. Each week I am going to begin the post by talking about something I do wrong, that I have failed at, or that I find reproachful in myself. Then anyone who wants to join in may post their own 'sins' either through the use of their own username or anonymously in the comments below (DO NOT POST ANYTHING ILLEGAL AND THAT WILL GET YOU IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW).
The idea behind this project is to humanize ourselves (so take your self-righteous judgments and pronouncements and shove them right up your ass). It's also a place to help each of us to let go of the 'sins' that have been dominating our lives and recognize them for what they are: the simple human frailties that all of us struggle with daily. This series is the place where you can speak honestly and let your frailties be devoured by the internet gods.
Let the sin eating begin.
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| Untitled by Kristian Hammerstad |
Works cited
Barrett, William. Irrational Man, A Study in Existential Philosophy. Garden City, New York: Doubleday Anchor Books. 1962. Print. pgs. 35 - 36.
I bought a video game instead of groceries and now I'm waiting on my girlfriend to come home.
ReplyDeleteI vry much understand where your coming from , and I think this series is a good, idea even if it is never effective at giving catharsis, it will at least let us all know we are not the only ones out there.
ReplyDeleteFor my part I sn against myself in that while I put forth the persona of not caring too much about acceptance, I yearn for positive reinforcement, and when I don't get it I quit. I hold my self back in this way. If im not doing something for someone to say "hey that's cool" I loose interest very quickly because I feel it is a failure. It's a weakness, it's immature, and it has held me back time and time again.
That's just how i'm built.
I wrestle with it.
_till nest week.
Nothing illegal you say? Well then, I'm just about perfect.
ReplyDeleteI silently farted in a crowded elevator this past week.
ReplyDelete