World of Greyhawk: Sultanate of Zeif Map

The Sultanate of Zeif is one of those tantalizing parts of world of Greyhawk. It sits on the edge of the officially mapped world, and actually extends beyond the map in the west. This gives us an opportunity to imagine the world beyond the Flanaess and to wonder what goes on there.  

Map from the 2024 DMG via reddit

 

As you can see from the 2024 DMG version of the world of Greyhawk, Zeif is a bit bare bones. There is the river Tuflik in the east and then the vast, endless plains of the Zeif to the west, with the city of Antalotol sitting alone in an ocean of grass.   

I've become a bit interested in Zeif lately so I decided to draw my own map with boarders that would help me in exploring the region.  

Map of the Sultanate of Zeif drawn by Me. 

 

When I drew my version of the map I wanted to put in borders for the Sultanate so that I could distinguish where it began and ended. The east was clear with the Tuflik river forming the eastern boarder. The west though was nondescript grasslands, and then there was Antalotol. The city of Antalotol sits alone in the vastness of the grasslands and its position made little sense as there was no fresh water abundantly clear on the map, but you could see the swaths of darkening grass that seemed to meander across the plains. So I made them into a river and tributaries. 

I plan on exploring this region more in the future, but for now I just wanted to drop my map out into the world and see how it feels to others exploring that section of the world. 

Traps, Not Just for Ex-Girlfriends Anymore

When I first started running Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) I tended to treat traps as an exercise in dice rolling to overcome the challenge I had placed before my players. There was the roll to detect the trap and then another roll to disarm it. All this rolling tended to make for rather dull gameplay.

In an effort to remedy all this tedium I started looking for more complex traps, such as those found in Grimtooth’s Traps, and began to describe them to my players in detail. We still rolled to determine the chance of success but by actually describing the traps it made them exciting in the game and players spent time discussing how to conquer the challenge the trap presented.

I got so wrapped up in the process that I started neglecting the traditional, banal traps: arrow, pit, door, and poison traps were all too mundane. This neglect resulted in me falling back into the old habit of rolling to overcome. I was dissatisfied with this aspect of my Game Mastering but then Dungeons & Dragons Fourth Edition (D&D 4e) was announced.

Continue Reading at Dragons Never Forget

We Were Strange Before You Thought it Was Cool

I was sitting down this evening and thinking about playing Dungeons & Dragons when it occurred to me that I hadn't done a Greyhawk poster in a while. So I figured that I should fix that tonight.

The question though remains: how do we bring more eyes to Greyhawk? How do we get Dungeon Masters who have never plumbed its depth to start exploring it's caverns, forgotten citadels, and foreboding tombs?

Well I Just had Tremendous Fun on The Greyhawk Channel!

Did the show on the Greyhawk Channel. Had a lot of fun even though my microphone had me sounding like a hillbilly Kermit the Frog. Still fun.

Watch Tales From the Green Dragon - With Charles Akins! from thegreyhawkchannel on www.twitch.tv

Right, so now that I've done that and had so much fun I want to do more. Hit me up kids!

Somehow I'm Getting Ready to Run Two Campaigns for Two Groups of Novices.

So in the last two weeks I've been approached by two separate groups of my friends looking for someone to run D&D for them. One group is going to be all the ladies and will consist of my Wife, our friends R and C - who have not yet met but I think will like each other. The other group involves my friends W and B and a whole passel of their homies. Other than my wife and R not one of these fuckers has played Dungeons & Dragons (or any other role-playing game for that matter).

Kids I am fucking stoked. 

I know a lot of Game Masters aren't really all that excited to run for new players but I think it's fucking boss. There's nothing like seeing someone break that barrier between believing that you're only allowed to do so much and the realization that the only thing you can't attempt to do are the things you can't imagine doing. 

I want so desperately to do them a solid and rock their fucking faces off. 

I'm only really nervous about the group with W and B because they haven't got an experience player to show them the ropes. They're literally standing on virgin soil trying to figure out if how the fuck to open a coconut for the first time in history. That's fucking exciting shit right there!

Do you remember that moment when you're sitting in your den and suddenly it clicked for the first time? That you could do anything your imagination would let you do and the only thing holding you back was a dice? God I'm so excited for these cats! They're about to get to experience one of the best moments in gaming for the first time and all I have to do is give them the right nudge and let them run! 

THIS IS WHY I PLAY THESE GAMES!

Ah, shit. I need to figure out what I'm going to run.

A Research List

Living Greyhawk Gazetteer

1. Al'Akbar
2. Allitur
3. Atroa
4. Beltar
5. Beory
6. Berei
7. Bleredd
8. Boccob
9. Bralm
10. Celestian
11. Cyndor
12. Dalt
13. Delleb
14. Ehlonna
15. Erythnul
16. Fharlanghn
17. Fortubo
18. Geshtai
19. Heironeous
20. Hextor
21. Incabulous
22. Istus
23. Iuz
24. Jascar
25. Joramy
26. Kord
27. Kurell
28. Lendor
29. Lirr
30. Llerg
31. Lydia
32. Mayaheine
33. Merikka
34. Mouqol
35. Myhriss
36. Nerull
37. Norebo
38. Obad-Hai
39. Olidammara
40. Osprem
41. Pelor
42. Phaulkon
43. Pholtus
44. Phyton
45. Procan
46. Pyremius
47. Ralishaz
48. Rao
49. Raxivort
50. Rudd
51. St. Cuthbert
52. Sehanine Moonbow
53. Sotillion
54. Syrul
55. Telchur
56. Tharizdun
57. Trithereon
58. Ulaa
59. Vatun
60. Vecna
61. Velnius
62. Wastri
63. Wee Jas
64. Wenta
65. Xan Yae
66. Xerbo
67. Ye'Cind
68. Zagyg
69. Zilchus
70. Zodal
71. Zuoken

Questions Yet to Be Answered

• What is the point of having so many gods when many overlap each other? Is it a flavor thing or is it simply the glut that often accompanies a setting over time?
• Should some of these gods be culled from a completed list? 
• Any god left on the list should have a reason for existing beyond X does Y but with a slight difference. It must be distinct and provide a reason for choosing them over the others. Is it possible for this to occur with an unmodified list?

Goals
Unspecified. 

Magic in 5e D&D is too Easy

In Fifth Edition Dungeons & Dragons magic permeates the game in the form of spells, abilities, items, artifacts, enchanted locations, and creatures. It is so pervasive that for many players it exists as an omnipresent force without a moral character; much like gravity, it has a power over their existence in that it affects their physical world but no power over their moral character or choice. Magic simply exists and what we do with it is what matters.

I have never been comfortable with this version of magic in my Dungeons & Dragons games, regardless of the edition I've been playing. Magic has always been something of a double edged sword in my games where magic both gave and took away something from its user. This presented itself most obviously in the items, artifacts, and enchanted locations that I created for my worlds as my players were able to immediately discern the effect and drawback from their use. What's more notable is that it created a sense of dramatic tension for my players when some new magical thing was discovered and made their use an important moment. Potions were examined and fretted over; magical weapons were used with trembling die rolls; and glowing portals were held in awe. It gave the game a dimension that it lacked when the sword was simply given a +2 bonus or the potion announced as a Potion of Healing. It gave meaning to the things my players encountered in the world beyond a statistical bonus or quick fix. 

Magic needs this level of tension for it to be meaningful in a role-playing game or else it becomes something ordinary and boring. Look at the way that Cantrips have changed with the D&D 5e. In previous editions theses spells required that the player prepare the spell and think about their use as there were only a limited amount of uses before you had to rest; now, however, the spells can be used at will, without preparation. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it makes them less special and their use perfunctory.  

So how do we fix this and make magic more meaningful?

I find myself going back to a book I read years ago by Mark A. Garland and Charles G. McGraw, Demon Blade, which had a profound impact on my thinking about magic in fantasy worlds (it's been a few years since I've read the book so forgive me if I explain this poorly). In the book magic draws its energy by consuming the wizard using it. Essentially it consumes the fat and muscle an individual has on their body in order to produce more powerful magics. Little things, like creating a bit of magical light, might make a wizard peckish but the most powerful artifacts and spells could consume them entirely. It made the use of magic something that a person had to think about before doing, and it made magic users even more terrifying as a person who is willing to end their own life to cause you harm is unafraid of anything you could ever do to them. 

I like the idea that magic has an effect on the players but I'm not convinced of the best way to accomplish this. I could try having a temporary reduction in constitution in order to cast more powerful spells. This would mean that if a player were to cast 9th level spells that they had to have a constitution score of 10 or better to survive the casting. 

It might be double dipping though. 

Pre-Written Adventures and Me

Last night I was talking to my wife as we were cooking dinner and she made the comment that in the 11 years we've been together that she's only see me run a pre-written adventure a handful of times. I started to argue with her but it's true. The vast majority of the time that I've been running has been me starting the adventure by giving them a location, a few things around them they can shop at, and an assortment of adventure hooks. From there the players craft the story they would like to play by determining where they're going and what they're doing. 

The idea of a pre-written adventure being pushed through my own, weird sensibilities has a certain amount of appeal though. I think I would like to explore this option a bit more in the coming days.  And I think that I should do some actual gaming online again. 

Think of this as a heads up.

The Monument of the Oppressor by Paul Lehr

And the painting by Lehr as a sign of where my mind's at today.

Greyhawk as a Post Apocalyptic World

At it's core the world of Greyhawk is a set in a post apocalyptic time period. The two great empires of old, the Suloise and Baklunish, waged a war that devastated both empires and reshaped the continents. The story that is told in official publications is that the end of these empires came about due to the "Invoked Devastation," a magical attack so devastating that it's like could never be seen again. The thing is that we're talking about an event that is millennia old within the timeline of the fictional world of Greyhawk and what could pass for magic today might have been advanced technology then. 

Imagine for a moment that our world as we know it were to end in a thermonuclear war tomorrow. The very landscape might change depending on how many bombs were used and their power. Everything touched by the radioactive fallout would be changed. Mutations would run rampant on those that survived as their bodies would have to develop new ways to cope with the radiation and the new environment that the world presents them. In the survivors of this nuclear apocalypse we would see new evolutionary developments. As the millennia pass they would slowly crawl their way back into the arms of civilization and as they did so it is inevitable that they would eventually discover ancient technologies. What would they think of our phones, computers, statues, cars, and air planes? Would they know what they were or would they think us wizards who bent the very fabric of reality to our whim?

I think that their reaction would be as Arthur C. Clark once said: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." They wouldn't have the understanding necessary to distinguish the difference between a gun and a magic wand. Our whole game world could be nothing more than the by-product of a civilization not understanding what they're dealing with. The monstrous creatures they encounter could be mutated animals and human beings or evolutionary excursions as life keeps trying to find new ways to exist. The various races of the planet could be aliens from the far corners of the galaxy who have been trapped here so long that they can't remember being from anywhere else. Demons, devils, and dragons could all be extra-dimensional beings who have made it here through tears in the fabric of space-time leftover from the nuclear devastation. Magic, in all its various forms, could be the expression of a particular mutation within the wider population that is either gaining prominence or being weeded out of the species. 

Art by Moebius

With this understanding of the world of Greyhawk we could easily imagine it being akin to M. John Harrison's Viriconium, the wildest comics from Heavy Metal, or from the works of Moebius. It could be Jack Vance's Planet of Adventure and Edgar Rice Burroughs' Mars. However you liken the setting, the point is that the world has become far more exciting and wide open again rather than bound by the trappings of a semi-Medieval world and that makes it reinvigorating to my imagination. I hope it does to yours as well. 

Reader Mail: Where Would You Start an Adventure in Greyhawk?

Last night I received an email through my fancy little contact box over there on the left of the page that was a really good question. So I thought I would throw it up on the blog, along with my answer, so that other Greyhawk enthusiasts could join in with some suggestions to help this reader out.

Hi! . . . I'm starting a campaign soon that's going to be set in Greyhawk. No one in the group has played In Greyhawk. I've been reading up on the setting, and I'll be using the LGG [Living Greyhawk Gazetteer] as my reference. What are the top areas to start a Greyhawk campaign for players new to the setting? There's so much information in the LGG that I'm having trouble choosing where to get started . . . 

Greyhawk Adventures Cover by Jeff Easley

Dear Reader, 

Without knowing what your group is into it's hard to give you a definitive answer as to where you should start adventuring. The World of Greyhawk has so much to offer your group from swashbuckling adventures on monster infested waters with the Sea Princes; to crossing a seemingly endless waste in the Sea of Dust as they search for lost cities hidden beneath the ash of a ruined civilization; to infiltrating the dreaded kingdom of that vile demigod Iuz; to the political intrigue of the Great Kingdom with its mad king and devilish lords; and of course there's the dungeon that gave the world its name. Greyhawk just is a land of plenty and you'll find something for every interest you could ever have waiting for you! 

But that isn't really helpful, is it? 

No. 

If I were to suggest a place to start adventuring I would pick the city of Dyvers. It's a free city located just on the southwestern portion of the Nyr Dyv (a lake of fathomless depths with monsters slumbering somewhere deep within that occasionally rise when particularly bad storms or earthquakes disturb their sleep) along the Verbobonc river. It's smaller than the more famous Greyhawk and has a natural rivalry with its sister city. I often describe it to my players as a city the size of Nashville; large and sprawling but not so big that you can't find your way around it. To the north you have the Kingdom of Fuyrondy (a land of noble knights standing against the ever present evil of Iuz and his demonic armies). To the south the Gnarly Forest where I usually put wild beastmen, goblins, and necromancers. Then there's the Wild Coast and the Orcish Empire of the Pomarj where all good adventurers go to die. 

As for getting everyone together I usually start them off having just been released from the city militia or having just graduated from the various colleges, universities, seminaries, and academies that their assorted classes would use. Then I tend to provide them with a few close-ish locations for them to explore. Often I tend to tie their first adventure to a character's family or friends to help establish them in the world. I like adventures that have them hunting down someone missing as it's easy to connect them with the slavers of the Wild Coast or the machinations of Iuz's armies. Then I just let the players craft their story from there. 

The other good thing about Dyvers is that it's fairly close to many of the big adventure locations in classic adventures like Maure Castle, Castle Greyhawk, the Temple of Elemental Evil, the Bright Desert, and so on. So if you have access to those adventures it will be fairly easy to get the players there from Dyvers. 

Hope this helps and don't hesitate to contact me again if you need more, 

Charlie 

P.S. Oh! Before I forget you should always remember that while Iuz is the biggest threat to the world that the Great Kingdom is not to be discounted as an enemy if you want to avoid demons. The king is mad and periodically purges the nobility (and, well, if we're being honest here most anyone else he remembers exists). His agents are fanatical in their devotion to him and act on his word as though it were the Holy Word of a god. They're a great enemy to throw into the game even if only for a mild distraction.

A Line in the Sand for One of the Oldest Settings in D&D

On December 19. 2017 Dungeons & Dragons Creative Director, Mike Mearls, did an Ask Me Anything on Reddit which I found an interesting read. Among the many questions he was asked was one about his favorite setting. Mike answered, "I'd love to tackle Greyhawk, but I'd want to approach it from the original [Gary] Gygax material, ignoring most everything post-1983 (unless he was the author)."

That's an interesting way to go in re-imagining the setting as it both eliminates a rather large swath of weak material but also some beloved adventures that came after Gary Gygax was forced out of TSR. Kick out the Greyhawk Wars, World of Greyhawk, all the Carl Sargent stuff, all the Living Greyhawk material, and all the stuff published by Wizards of the Coast throughout the tail end of Second Edition and all of Third Edition. Essentially it would reset the world at the Greyhawk Boxed set with the whole setting on a tenuous peace with armies posturing and occasionally raiding across the boarders but without the outright war that characterized the setting throughout the majority of its published existence. 

I'm conflicted about this proposed reset. On the one hand I hate some of the changes that came to the setting after the Greyhawk Boxed Set and really hate the way that the world was reshaped by the Greyhawk Wars; but on the other hand I really love some of the Carl Sargent stuff (seriously, Sargent rocks and to completely lose his influence from the setting would really be a bit difficult for me). Still, at this point the Greyhawk setting has been largely neglected and pushed to the side so often that just to have some light from someone who loves it would be . . . amazing. 

Rary the Traitor by Ben Wootten

Listen, as a setting the World of Greyhawk is just a few short years away from being a forgotten memory that used to be a place played in back when the game first started. It's a relic waiting to be discarded. That needs to change before it gets forgotten and left to those few of us still waving our flag out here on the boarders of ignoble oblivion.

Greyhawk deserves to have a new generation of players care about it the way that I do after reading Carl Sargent. It needs to have authors that love the setting exploring it and pushing the game in a way that the Forgotten Realms simply can't compete with anymore. It needs to have boarder wars and devils walking the face of Oerth again. It needs to be a place where players go when they've gotten over the triteness of Faerun and are looking for somewhere new to explore where the canon warriors haven't entrenched themselves on every hill and loudly proclaim, "That's not how it goes in the books!"

There is so much potential in Greyhawk for new players. It's the land where the greatest adventures are set and where the best game designers made bold choices. It's a place where the great experiments of D&D were often first tested and where many of the most beloved spells, items, devils, gods, and non-player characters were first pushed out in the world. It can be that place again, and if the way we get it there is to let go of things like Sargent and the post Gygax material, then we should. 

Come on Mearls. Make us proud and do something breathtaking with the setting. 

Hirelings in D&D 5e According to the DMG

Last night I was contemplating the uselessness of the hireling in Dungeons & Dragons Fifth Edition. In this Edition, more so than in any previous edition, they're the faceless drones of our fantasy worlds carrying out the mundane tasks that our players find too trivial to do themselves. The Dungeon Master's Guide (DMG) even goes so far as to describe them in the following way:

". . . Hireling NPCs rarely become important in an adventure, and most require little development. When adventurers hire a coach to carry them across town or need a letter delivered the driver or messenger is a hireling, and the adventures might never even converse with that NPC or learn his or her name. A ship captain carrying the adventures across the sea is also a hireling, but such a character has the potential to turn into an ally, a patron, or even an enemy as the adventure unfolds . . . (94)

Essentially what the DMG is arguing is that your average hireling, much like you average person behind the counter of a fast food restaurant, is a vapid memory that barely registers for your players. They are a means to an end and their fictional lives have no meaningful impact on your players. So what benefit is there to using a hireling in your game? A sense of the world's lack of technology? Tradition? Because you think your game should have them? 

Works Cited
Mearls, Mike and Jeremy Crawford. Dungeon Master's Guide Fifth Edition Dungeons & Dragons. Wizards of the Coast, USA. 2014. PRINT

New Saddle, Same as the Old, Just Better Leather pt. 2

Click Here to Read from the Beginning

"Before we begin," I said as my Lovely Bride picked out her dice, "I just want to make it clear that all of you fuckers know each other. We're not going through that bullshit where you pretend like you don't know each other and then try to awkwardly work together."

"Aw," Brittle Betty said as she laid out her rules cheat sheet, "I kind of like that part."

"Why," Biggboy's deep, gravelly voice asked from the end of the table.

"Oh," Brittle Betty said as her eyes got big, "I didn't realize I said that out loud."

"Well, you did," Poot said as he laughed. "So why do you like that part?"

"Um, well, I'm new," Brittle Betty said as she looked at her sheet and began to rearrange her dice, "and I don't really know you guys too well."

My Lovely Bride gently patted her on the arm and said, "That's okay dear. We're all new sometimes, just not in Charlie's games."

"Okay," Brittle Betty said with a smile.

"Right," I said, "let's get to it then." Characters were made, names written down in my book, and we began.

"A month ago you were all hired as couriers for the TAB Trading Conglomerate. As condition of your hire each of you were provided with a horse for your journey and room & board until you were called up. Those you see next to you were bunked in the same room alongside you as a 'team building strategy.' Hard to say if it worked as your days were filled with the boring monotony of being constantly on the alert for your first mission and it seemed as though you were going to die of boredom before anything interesting might happen. 

"Then came Tuesday night. 

"You were roused from your beds, rushed out to the patio in a pouring rain where you and your bunk mates were brought your horses. In front of you stood an elegant woman that towered over you as a small man strained to keep her dry under a massive umbrella. Her voice was a deep baritone that sounded as though it started in her ankles before it ever came out her severe mouth. She looked your group over with a look that might have been called disgust if she could have just cared enough about you to form an opinion. 'Give it to the tall one,' she says with a dismissive hand wave before turning and going back into the office.

"Biggboy, a bedraggled goblin walks over to you with a sealed, leather scroll case in his hand. 'My Lady says you're to have this and to go east to Red Castle,' and with that he walks away."

Biggboy held his hand up and mimed handing the case to my Lovely Bride, "I'm not fucking carrying that thing."

"Oh, thanks," my Lovely Bride said as she tucked it into her belt, "knowing my luck Charlie's just given us a portable black hole that will break open and kill us all starting with my lady bits."

"Your lady bits," Brittle Betty chortled.

"It makes boys uncomfortable in their pants when you say vagina," she said.

"You know," the Master Planner said, "I've been trying to get one of those for the better part of the last two years."

"Oh," I said as I set my dice in a row, "how's that working out for you?"

"Fucking terrible. You can't get those things to grow for shit."

"So, anyway," Icarus said, "we were D&Ding."

"Right," I said, "so what are you guys doing?"

My Lovely Bride looked about the table and said, "So how are we doing this?"

"What do you mean," Biggboy asked. "I mean it's D&D. We're going to kill things and take there stuff."

"Naturally," she said, "but this reminds me a lot of Arabella and that has me worried."

"Arabealla," Brittle Betty asked, "what is Arabella?"

"Who," my Lovely Bride replied, "she was a cross-dressing half-giant that nearly killed the whole party back in '06. Icarus, She'rah who you haven't met but is fucking awesome, and Step worked for her for a while. Then we crossed her."

"As you do," the Master Planner added.

"And she came after us."

"Yeah," Icarus said as he set his abacus just to the right of his character sheet, "it wasn't a fun time."

"Good game, though," my Lovely Bride added, "but it ended with the first TPK I've ever been a part of."

"So are you saying we shouldn't do this," Brittle Betty asked. "I was kind of looking forward to going to the Red Castle."

"Oh no," Biggboy said, "no they're not saying that. They're saying we shouldn't fuck with this bitch."

"Right," said the Master Planner, "so we do this one mission and then bug out on her?"

My Lovely Bride turned her gaze on me, "Can we do that?"

"You absolutely could. You would have to return the horses and any additional equipment you have borrowed from the TAB Trading Conglomerate," I told her as I started making notes of their suppositions. I've always found it best to take the game in directions where their imaginations are leading them and do something along those lines. The game seems to have a deeper impact that way.

"Okay," the Master Planner said, "then I'm ready to go."

The rest of the group took a few minutes to purchase some last second supplies and off they went into the world. The rain came down hard and the paths they traveled were muddy morasses that found their horses hooves sinking into the muck. Still they persisted on through the night until early morning when they saw a light off in the distance, flickering dimly in the darkness of the pre-dawn hour. 

"Is that where we're supposed to be going," Biggboy asked. "seems like we're awful close to the TAB house to be there so early."

"I don't know," the Master Planner said as he studied the map I'd handed him before the left, "we should be at the Red Castle about now if every thing went as normal but with all the rain and shit we could still be a few hours off."

"Do you want to wait until dawn and check it out then," Icarus asked. "It might be the best option."

"I don't really want to wait," Brittle Betty said in almost a whisper.

"What did she say," Biggboy asked.

"She said she doesn't want to wait," my Lovely Bride announced. She then smiled at Brittle Betty and gently said, "You're playing with a bunch of deaf bastards, dear. You're going to have to speak up."

"Okay," Brittle Betty said with a smile, "I can do that."

"A better question," the Master Planner said as he stroked his beard, "is are you a sneaky, little, rogue-like person who might make his way up the hill and tell what's going on up there."

Brittle Betty flashed a smile that lit up her whole face. "As a matter of fact," she said, "I think I might just be."

"Good," the Master Planner said as he checked his character sheet, "I'm pretty shit as anything dexterity based. Anyone capable of rolling up there with her or is she just better off on her own."

"I'd, um," Brittle Betty stammered, "I'd like to do it on my own. If that's okay?"

"Of course it is," my Lovely Bride said, "just scream if you need us."

"Okay," Brittle Betty said as he picked up her d20. "I'm heading up there."

As the party watched Brian of the Seven Fingers slipped off his horse and disappeared into the darkened woods. Brian of the Seven Fingers made his way up the slippery hillside, deftly finding secure footing along the way, and with barely any sound beyond the heavy drops of rain splashing off his clothing. For nearly ten minutes he carefully made his way up the hillside until he approached the edge of a clearing where the flickering torchlight had lead him. 

The clearing before him stretched out into a muddy semi-circle about a dozen paces across at it's longest. In the center, against the back of the hill, stood a large red door half open with lit torches to either side of the entrance. The ground showed heavy traffic of large footed humanoids and deep, drag lines leading deeper into the hillside. Brian of the Seven Fingers noted all of this down before returning to his waiting companions.

"Ogres," Biggboy said with a smile. "It's bound to be fucking ogres."

"Ogres," Brittle Betty stammered, "are they dangerous?"

"They can be if we get surrounded," the Master Planner said.

"So what do we do," Brittle Betty asked as she looked about the table.

"I guess we should keep going," Icarus said, "I didn't really prepare to fight ogres this early."

"Ogres," Biggboy rumbled as he began checking his character sheet.

"We could," the Master Planner said, "but if that's their home then there's no telling how much loot they've got inside."

"Ogres," Biggboy said with a smile as he caught my Lovely Bride's eye.

"Shit," she whispered.

"Ogres," Biggboy said with a nod.

"What's going on," Brittle Betty asked.

"Ogres are what's going on," Biggboy boomed. "And we're going up that hill, kicking their asses, and taking their stuff!"

"Okay," Brittle Betty squeaked.

"Ogres," my Lovely Bride said as she began gently slamming her head on the desk. "Fuck you Charlie Akins. It had to be ogres."

"Ogres," Biggboy practically shouted!

"Ogres," echoed the Master Planner and Icarus.

"Ogres," I said with a smile. 

"God damned ogres," my Lovely Bride said.

New Saddle, Same as the Old, Just Better Leather

Part 1

Part 2

New Saddle, Same as the Old, Just Better Leather pt. 1

I was laying the bed, watching the ceiling fan cast odd shadows in early Monday morning light, when my lovely wife rolled over and slid her arm across my chest. "Honey," she whispered before blowing a loose strand of hair away from her mouth, "what are you still doing in bed. Don't you have to work?"

"I've been thinking that I'd like to run a game this weekend."

She rose up on her elbow to get a better look at me. "Are you sure," she said, "you haven't run anything in a year."

I watched the fan wobble overhead for a moment before I said, "Yeah, I think I would like to run again."

There was a slight intake of breath and even with her face blackened by the cloying darkness I could tell she was pensively chewing her lip. Finally she said, "Can I play?"

"Yeah," I said as I smiled at her, "do you think anyone else will want to play?"

"Are you fucking kidding me," she said as she rolled over and grabbed her phone. "I'll send out the invites. How many do you want at the table?"

"I'd like to keep it small if you don't mind."

"Sure, Honey," she said as her fingers moved deftly across her screen. "I'll just invite our core group."

I got up from the bed, "I'm going to get a shower and get ready for work." 

I took a quick shower, got dressed, and took my medicine as my Darling Bride came out of the bedroom. Her hair was a wild mane surrounding her face and she held her phone out towards me with her eyes closed, "the Master Planner, Brittle Betty, Poot, Bigg, and Icarus have all said they're in if you've got spots left."

"What are they doing up at five in the morning?"

"Who knows," she said as she turned back into the welcoming darkness of our bedroom, "but the game is set for Saturday at two."

"But I didn't tell you a time," I stammered.

"I didn't ask," she said as she closed the door.

"Right," I said to myself as I got up from my computer desk and switched off the light, "guess I'm running then."

Saturday

It's been a few years since I've been back home for longer than a weekend and as I pulled up to the new game shop, Dungeons & Dames, I found myself missing the old back corner streets with their busted streetlights where the dope dealers crossed to the other side of the street because two  dozen nerds poured out of a metal door in the side of an old factory building billowing smoke and talking about esoteric nerd shit. Those dope dealers would stand under the flickering neon sign of Lucy's Dinner while we stood under the orange glow of the sensor light and I would watch meth heads slink up in the eerie, flickering neon to buy their latest hit. Once I even saw a girl I had loved with all my heart over there. The beautiful girl she had been, and woman she had grown into, had been replaced by an emaciated skeleton covered in sores that reeked of cheap cigarettes and cat piss. She saw me too, and then she pulled up her hoodie and ran off down the street into the cavernous back of a van with no windows.

I haven't seen her since.

I climbed out of the Blue Fox, a little Chevy Spark I had bought for my wife earlier this year, and watched as the Master Planner came out the door with both arms wide open. "About fucking time you ran again," he said as he enveloped me in a hug that nearly took my breath away. "God, I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," I said as I squeezed him back.

"Come on," he said breaking our hug, "people are going to think we're fucking if we keep holding on to each other out here."

"Right," I said as I looked at the door of Dungeons & Dames and saw Icarus bent over while Bigg feigned humping him from behind, "we're the ones they're going to think are fucking."

As I walked into the shop, saying hi to everyone I had missed over the last few years, I found myself slightly underwhelmed with the Dungeon & Dames role-playing game selection. They had a single bookcase to the left of the counter that housed all of their role-playing games. Behind their glass counter were Magic and various card games; and in the big room they had a Warhammer table set up and more figures than were probably strictly necessary for their volume of business. We went past all of this with Icarus leading the way through a winding corridor of rooms and dead end hallways until we reached the "Gray" room where they all turned to me with these tremendous grins on their faces.

"It's the 'Gray' room," my Darling Bride said as she nudged me in the ribs. 

"I noticed," I said with a repressed smile.

"Do you get it," she as she pointed to the gray walls and then to my notebook, "the gray room? Like, as in Greyhawk!"

"I get it, Darling," I said with a chuckle. "Gray and Greyhawk. You're all very sweet."

"So what are we going to be playing," Poot asked as he sat down beside me. 

"I bet it will involve dungeons," my Lovely Bride said.

"There's going to be dragons," Brittle Betty said as she took her seat next to my Lovely Bride, "I just know it."

"Well," I said as I opened my notebook, "let's see where you guys end up."

Found on Pinterest, Artist Unknown

New Saddle, Same as the Old, Just Better Leather

Part 1

Part 2

The Greyhawk Wars

So last night I was reading a bit of Carl Sargent's work on Greyhawk and it got me to thinking how much fun it would be if we were to get some new exploration of the Greyhawk Wars time period or the era shortly thereafter. There's so much fertile ground to explore there that I would love to see it done. 

Perhaps I will.

Anyway, while I was thinking about it I made this thing. It's a bit massive when you blow it up, but I like it all the same.

If you like it, please share it with your friends, with the people at Wizards of the Coast, and with random strangers you meet at game shops. Spread the word about Greyhawk kids!

Dungeons & Dragons Doesn't Have to Follow the Traditional Foundation Laid by Tolkien.

As far as I am aware it has long been established that the game worlds of any Dungeons & Dragons game is essentially a quasi-Medieval world wherein the concepts of Arthurian and Tolkien fantasy hold sway over the possibilities available to the players. Knights, dragons, trolls, and whatnot rule the landscape with legendary quests on every horizon. Over the last few years, though, I've begun to wonder if this isn't only a partial picture of the game worlds available to us as colored by the overriding appetite of the average Dungeons & Dragons consumer of the early years and TSR's need to fulfill that hunger. 

Unknown title by Melvyn Grant

I started thinking about this when I first read the introduction to the Appendix N of Gary Gygax's Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Masters Guide: ". . . Inspiration for all of the fantasy work I have done stems directly from the love my father showed when I was a tad, for he spent many hours telling me stories he made up as he went along, tales of cloaked old men -who could grant wishes, of magic rings and enchanted swords, or wicked sorcerors and dauntless swordsmen. Then too, countless hundreds of comic books went down, and the long-gone EC ones certainly had their effect. Science fiction, fantasy, and horror movies were a big influence. In fact, all of us tend to get ample helpings of fantasy when we are very young, from fairy tales such as those written by the Brothers Grimm and Andrew Long. This often leads to reading books of mythology, paging through bestiaries, and consultation of compilations of the myths of various lands and peoples. Upon such a base I built my interest in fantasy, being an avid reader of all science fiction and fantasy literature since 1950 . . ." (Gygax, pg. 224). The list he then provided to the reader stretched from the fantasy works of authors like J.R.R. Tolkien, to pulp authors like Edgar Rice Burroughs, and genre defying authors like Jack Vance. 

1920 - Warlord by Jakub Rozalski

Over the years I've read stories from the early days of the hobby where Dungeons & Dragons players played in games that defied what has become known as the fantasy genre. Tanks, laser guns, machine guns, rocket ships, aliens, and B movie monsters made appearances. They pushed the boundaries of their imaginations and went wherever their fancies took them whether it was up an elevator or down a water slide into a mountain of treasure. So why did that stop? Why did we go from having a game that jumped the shark at every opportunity into one that dogmatically declared that you must play in a quasi-Medieval world where magic was in the ascendancy and technology was languishing behind?

Snail Mail by Jean-Baptiste Monge 2016

My suspicion is that as TSR continued to publish adventures and supplements to meet the ravenous appetites of Tolkien's fan base that it steadily pushed players who wanted to do other things to wayside. Instead of riding rocket-powered, mechanical, flying horses and chasing space pirates across the night sky in Dungeons & Dragons they moved on to other games; and as they left so too did the wilder, pulp, and genre defying side of the game. The fantastic Medieval world became the standard genre and for a lot Dungeons & Dragons enthusiasts the literary exploration of Gygax's inspiration begins and ends with the fantasy authors of Tolkien, Moorcock, Anderson, and Leiber. The games become homogeneous and the stories we tell are nothing more than trite rehashes of the same adventures people have been having for the last forty years. We don't make new things, just re-imaginings of past glories; and it leaves us all with a boring wasteland of mediocrity as a result. 

Tavern,

Dungeon,

Orcs,

Goblins,

Dragons,

Treasures,

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Over and over, and over, and over, and over again. 

It's past time we start breaking that cycle.

Works Cited 

Gygax, Gary. Official Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Masters Guide. TSR Games, 1979. pg 224

Let's Talk About the Meatgrinder Mode for a Bit

Wizard by Peter Andrew Jones

This weekend I was reading a bit more about Wizards of the Coast's latest storyline, The Tomb of Annihilation, when I ran across this tidbit on i09 that got my attention: ". . . There’s even a new difficulty modifier called “Meatgrinder Mode” that makes it even harder for players making their Death Saving throws—the check they make when they’ve reached 0 health points to see if they cling on to life or actually die—to emphasis the fact that the stakes in Chult have been well and truly heightened . . ." (Whitbrook).

"Meatgrinder Mode?" 

Well, shit, let's talk about that motherfucker for a minute. 

untitled by Jose Antonio Domingo

Currently D&D 5e runs with a three strikes policy on death. Essentially you have to succeed on three of six possible stabilization rolls before you fail three times. It's really a generous system designed to give dying players an opportunity to do something during the game that is meaningful for them besides going into the kitchen, getting a soda, and crying in a corner. I kind of hate it. There's no noticeable difference for the player if they succeed on their first three saving throws or if they've failed two and succeeded on their fifth roll. It all amount to the same thing: they're fine.

So the idea that now we're going to add in a "Meatgrinder Mode" intrigues me. How grinder-esque are we going to get here?

In my black, crass heart I want the Meatgrinder Mode to truly get vile for the players. I want it to cast lingering effects on them for each failure --- limps, seeing dead spirits, hearing the screams of the damned in their sleep so they can never fully rest again. I want the player's brushes with death to impact them and to matter to their character for the remainder of their time in the game. I want players to sit down at the table and to wonder if maybe they shouldn't have started drinking earlier in the day instead of after their third death. 

I want it to be a game that makes life and death matter to the players. 

Odds, though, are against the game going down this route. The Wizards of the Coast design team has consistently erred on the side of the players by being generous towards them in their rules on saves, magic, and the like. Even their "Meatgrinder Mode" will ultimately follow this pattern as their ultimate goal isn't to satisfy black-hearted bastards like myself but rather to appeal to the largest cross section of players possible without offending their delicate sensibilities. I can't fault them for this. 

No, no, no. Likely as not we'll find that the "Meatgrinder Mode" is a change to the Death Save where players must either succeed or fail on a single roll. Of course they could dispense with it entirely and make those who get raised have to work on a time clock or have their character permanently dead and turned into some sort of ghoulish beast working for the main bad guy. That would actually be pretty cool now that I think about it.  

Oblivion and subservience. Now there's a downside any player can recognize and fear. 

AA74, by Zdzislaw Beksinski

Works Cited

Whitbrook, Jason. The Mind Behind Adventure Time Helped Craft Dungeons & Dragons' Newest Story. i09, June 5, 2017, http://io9.gizmodo.com/the-mind-behind-adventure-time-helped-craft-dungeons-1795816921. Accessed June 17, 2017.

Sober Thoughts about the Newest Adventure from Wizards of the Coast

Last night I spent a bit of time, sober, looking at what Wizards of the Coast is doing with the latest adventure path and I'm just so damned disappointed with what we're getting. Again we're getting a re-imagining of a classic adventure. Again we're seeing a classic Greyhawk adventure and villain being transferred into the Forgotten Realms. Again I'm fucking disappointed. 

I fully understand that the Forgotten Realms is the engine that pulls the Dungeons & Dragons train right now, but I'm also aware that the only reason that is the case is because they have spent the better part of the last twenty years pushing that setting to the fore while minimizing all their other settings. They could have just keep all these re-imagined adventures in Greyhawk and they would have sold just as well while reinvigorating the setting for a new generation of players - or they could have moved us into Eberron and done something really interesting with all that settings lore. Fuck, they could have come up with a wholly new setting and it would have been better. I'm just so done with being in the Forgotten Realms in all the published material. I want to see adventures set in Greyhawk, Dark Sun, Dragonlance, and Eberron. 

Fucking bring on Planescape. I'm ready to move on to new worlds and fertile ground.

by Dean Ellis

Wizards of the Coast Recognized Product Publication Schedule Since 2006

Since the release of Dungeons & Dragons 5e in 2014 I have been attempting to collect everything that Wizards of the Coast has published. As many of you know I'm a bit too cheap to buy anything at full price so I tend to wait until the price gets low enough that I'm willing to buy it; which often means that I forget some of the things that Wizards has published. So yesterday I started trying to make myself a checklist of all the things Wizards of the Coast had published since D&D 5e went live so that I could remember what I had and still needed only to find that their official website is very unhelpful in this matter, that their product listing page is poorly designed, and that it's missing quite a lot of material. So rather than throw my hands up and walk away from the whole thing I thought that it might be better to organize the products that Wizards of the Coast recognizes on their website in a reasonable fashion and to publish the list here on the blog. 

It's here that I need your help gang. Help me fill in the gaps and missing materials. I don't have the dates for any of the Dungeon+ issues prior to issue #9. I know that they've published other things as I caught the fifth book from the Sundering series being left off their official listing. What else have they missed and where does it go on the list?

As new information becomes available to me I'll update this list every so often to reflect the missed materials and the new products as they're announced so that it'll be a useful page and not just a footnote.

2006

February 28          Dungeons & Dragons Online Launches (Free)

2010

August 31             Castle Ravenloft Board Game

2011

February 15          Wrath of Ashardalon Board Game

May 25                 Daggerdale (Video Game)

June 21                 Conquest of Nerath Board Game

October 18           The Legend of Drizzt Board Game

November 1         Brimstone Angels by Erin M. Evans (Book)

2012

March 20             Lords of Waterdeep Board Game

September 17      Legend of Drizzt: Neverwinter Tales by R.A. Salvatore & Geno Salvatore (Graphic Novel)

December 4        Lesser Evils (Brimstone Angels) by Erin M. Evans (Book)

2013 (Run Up Year to D&D 5e Launch)

March 19           Dungeons of Dread (Collection of S-Series Modules) 

May 8                 Forgotten Realms Classics Volume 1 by Jeff Grubb (Graphic Novel)

May 8                 Forgotten Realms Classics Volume 2 by Jeff Grubb (Graphic Novel)

May 8                 Forgotten Realms Classics Volume 3 by Jeff Grubb (Graphic Novel)

May 8                 Forgotten Realms Classics Volume 4 by Jeff Grubb (Graphic Novel)

June 5                 Chronicles of Mystara (Video Game)

June 18               Against the Slave Lords (Collection of A-Series Modules) 

August 6             The Companions (Sundering Book 1) by R.A. Salvatore (Book)
August 15           Ghosts of Dragonspear Castle (Next Preview) 

August 20           Scoundrels of Skullport Board Game
August 20           Murder in Baldur's Gate (Sundering Part 1)
October 1            The Godborn (Sundering Book 2) by Paul S. Kemp

November 15      Baldur's Gate 2: Enhanced Edition (Video Game)
November 19      Original Dungeons & Dragons Premium Reprint
November 21       Lords of Waterdeep (Video Game)
December 3         The Adversary (Sundering Book 3) by Erin M. Evans


2014 (D&D 5e Officially Launches)
February 4           The Reaver (Sundering Book 4) by Richard Lee Byers
February 4           Scourge of the Sword Coast  (dmsguild.com exclusive)
February 25         Fell's Five (Graphic Novel)
March 4               Night of the Hunter (Companions Codex Book 1) by R.A. Salvatore
April 1                 The Sentinel (Sundering Book 5) by Troy Denning
April 2                 Cutter (Graphic Novel) by R.A. Salvatore and Geno Salvatore
April 17               Baldur's Gate Enhanced Edition (Video Game)
June 3                  The Herald (Sundering Book 6) by Ed Greenwood
June 24                 Dungeon! Board Game
July 9                    Legacy of the Crystal Shard (Sundering Part 2)
July 9                    Dead in Thay: Dreams of the Red Wizards (dmsguild.com exclusive)
July 15                  D&D Starter Set (Boxed Set)
July 15                   Icons of the Realms: Starter Set (Miniatures)
August 12             The Legend of Drizzt: The Collected Stories (Audible exclusive)
August 19             Hoard of the Dragon Queen: Tyranny of Dragons Part 1
August 19             Player's Handbook
September 30        Rise of the King (Companions Codex: Book 2) by R.A. Salvatore
September 30        Monster Manual
October 14             Fire in the Blood (Brimstone Angels) by Erin M. Evans (Book)
October 15             Legends of Baldur's Gate by Jim Zub (Comic)
October 30             Icewind Dale Enhanced Edition (Video Game)
November 4           The Rise of Tiamat: Tyranny of Dragons Part 2
November 19         D&D Icons of the Realms: Bahamut
November 19         D&D Icons of the Realms: Tiamat
December 9            Dungeon Master's Guide


2015
January 20              Dungeon Master's Screen
March 3                  Vengeance of the Iron Dwarf by R.A. Salvatore (Companions Codex, Book 3)
March 4                   Elemental Evil: Booster (Miniatures)
April 7                     Princes of the Apocalypse
April 16                   Player's Companion: Elemental Evil
April 29                   Temple of Elemental Evil (Board Game)
June 2                      Spellstorm by Ed Greenwood
September 1            Archmage by R.A. Salvatore (Homecoming Book 1) (Book)
September 8            Gold Box Classics (Video Game) (Good Old Games)
September 9            Rage of Demons: Booster
September 15          Out of the Abyss: Rage of Demons
October 20               Sword Coast Legends
November 3             Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide
December 29           Ashes of the Tyrant (Brimstone Angels) by Erin M. Evans (Book)


2016
March 15                  Curse of Strahd
March 31                  Siege of Dragonspear (Video Game)
April 1                      Tarokka Deck
April 5                      Maestro (Homecoming Book 2) by R.A. Salvatore (Book)
April 6                      Icons of the Realms: Monster Menagerie
June 7                       Death Masks by Ed Greenwood
June 16                     Tyrants of the Underdark Board Game
September 2             Dragon+ #9
September 6             Storm King's Thunder
September 6             Storm King's Thunder DM Screen
September 21           Icons of the Realms: Storm King's Thunder
September 22           Monsters and Heroes of the Realms (Coloring Book)
October 4                 The Devil You Know (Brimstone Angels) by Erin M. Evans
October 25               Hero (Homecoming Book 3) by R.A. Salvatore
October 28               Dragon+ #10
November 8             Dungeonology
November 15           Volo's Guide to Monsters
December 7              Rock, Paper, Wizard
December 15            Dragon+ #11


2017
January 4                  Icons of the Realms: Monster Menagerie 2
January 11                Frost Giant's Fury (Comic) by Jim Zub & Netho Diaz
February 15              Assault of the Giants Board Game
February 27              Dragon+ #12
April 4                      Tales from the Yawning Portal
Announced               Dungeon Chess (Virtual Reality Video Game)

Welcome to Fear City, You Son of Bitch.

In 1975 the Council for Public Safety, a group consisting of public service unions (firefighters, police, and the like), put out a pamphlet titled "Welcome to Fear City." In large part it was in reaction to New York City Mayor Beame's plan to layoff nearly 11,000 police officers in an effort to stave off declaring bankruptcy for the city.

Source: islandersa1 flickr account

Source: islandersa1 flickr account

 

Source: islandersa1 flickr account

Source: islandersa1 flickr account

It's a great bit of propaganda as the damned thing plays into the image of big city crime, with its dangerous, criminal underbelly crawling out from the shadows to rob, murder, and rape the rest of us. While I don't condone using such fear-mongering tactics in the real world I would nonetheless love to use something like this in my role-playing games.

Hell, this is the sort of thing that I would love to be given as a player! Just imagine sitting down at the table and the Game Master hands you this little four page pamphlet. It's got this big, black skull on the front and welcomes you to "Fear City," or "The Detroit of Faerun," or any other of a thousand terrifying names you could come up with to let your players know that they're about to get right into the thick of things. 

It makes me all kinds of excited just thinking about it! In fact, I think I'm going to go work on one myself. What about you cats?