Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Dyvers: Guilds are for Losers

At one time there were as many guilds as you could ever hope to find in one location in the city of Dyvers but that changed after Greyhawk's guilds began to dominate commerce in the region and the Great Kingdom fell to the wayside. Already the city's merchants had been forming companies to explore new lands and to establish new trade in distant lands. Now they became more prominent as the people began to fully reject the old ways and to organize themselves more effectively borrowing liberally from the mercantile companies. 

Gone were the old power structures as the city rejected all the old ways. Where once the leader of the guild was either the most powerful or influential member among the elite now with the rise of companies it was the individual voted into office by all of the shareholders (a title that varied from group to group). The city became a political machine and ground those who couldn't navigate it down to dust. As a result the city has become a City of Companies, small and large. Adventurers, mercenaries, markets, teachers, laborers, and skilled artisans: nearly every one you meet in the city is a part of some company; and yet no one who holds power in the city's elected offices can have been in a company within the last ten years. 

Those are ten lean years.

Let's say that you wanted to make your own company to be used in your home game set in Dyvers; how would you go about doing it? My answer is make your own up as you go while drinking Long Island Iced Teas and screaming at the fucking Bears as they lose another game; but, you know, your mileage may not be very far on that sort of cocktail. So here's a chart to help you out, kids.

Creating your own Dyvers Company

1) Roll on the d6 Company Theme table.
2) Roll or pick your favorite out of the theme.
3) Repeat as many times as you like. 
4) Roll on the d30 adjective table
5) Roll as many times as you like
6) Combine them as best suits your sensibilities.

The Terribly, Ugly Jackasses
The Ring-Ring Mule Distributors
Tom's Ogre Furnace
Anna's Embittered Terrapin Guns

1d6 Company Theme
1   Animal
2   Vegetable / Fruit
3   Mineral
4   Monster
5   Occupation
6   Person
7   Machine 
8   Object

1d20 Animal
1    Monkey
2    Mule
3    Lion
4    Hare
5    Jackass
6    Turtle
7    Horse
8    Lamb
9    Skunk
10   Opossum
11   Bear
12   Raccoon
13   Snake
14   Terrapin
15   Crocodile
16   Rat
17   Dog
18   Cat
19   Turkey
20   Beaver

1d20 Vegetable / Fruit
1     Carrot
2     Cucumber
3     Potato
4     Yam
5     Pumpkin
6     Kale
7     Lettuce
8     Spinach
9     Peach
10   Pear
11   Pecan
12   Peanut
13   Walnut
14   Strawberry
15   Tomato
16   Grape
17   Water Chestnut
18   Avocado
19   Squash
20   Kumquat

1d20 Mineral
1    Gold
2    Pyrite
3    Cubanite
4    Pyromorphite
5    Lazulite
6    Wardite
7    Vesuvianite
8    Barthite
9    Sphalerite
10   Creedite
11   Koettigite
12   Helidor
13   Amethyst
14   Endlichite
15   Adamite
16   Manganadamite
17   Silver
18   Copper
19   Malachite
20   Chalcanthite

1d20 Monster
1    Flumph
2    Ogre
3    Goblin
4    Troll
5    Dragon
6    Giant
7    Demon
8    Devil
9    Golem
10   Were-(roll on 1d20 Animal Table)
11   Rakshasa
12   Vampire
13   Zombie
14   Umber-Hulk
15   Aboleth
16   Mind Flayer
17   Gorgon
18   Hag
19   Modron
20   Mongrelman

1d20 Occupation
1    Baker
2    Distributor
3    Tailor
4    Boatswain
5    Weatherman (or woman depending on your needs and mood)
6    Fishmonger
7    Bar Hop
8    Musician
9    Physician
10   Alchemist
11   Laborer
12   Scribe
13   Fisherman (or woman depending on your needs and mood)
14   Hunter
15   Tanner
16   Trader / Merchant
17   Inn Keeper
18   Gambler
19   Prostitute
20   Comedian

1d20 Person
1    Oscar
2    Anna
3    Maxwell
4    Jennifer
5    David
6    Christine
7    James
8    Megan
9    Luke
10   Sylvia
11   Norvel
12   Zelphia
13   Lester
14   Della
15   Earl
16   Peggy
17   Charles
18   Alisha
19   Thomas
20   Jaimie

1d20 Machine
1    Clock
2    Television
3    Gun
4    Pen
5   Canon
6    Dumbwaiter
7    Oven
8    Furnace
9    Jukebox
10   Tractor
11   Carriage
12   Crane
13   Escalator
14   Power Wheel
15   3D Printer
16   Truck
17   Tank
18   Phone
19   Fan
20   Elevator

1d20 Object
1    Book
2    Door
3    Gate
4    Rose Petal
5    Thorn
6    Guitar
7    Stocking
8    Picture
9    Bank
10   Chest
11   Funnel
12   Model
13   Home
14   Dice
15   Cards
16   Umbrella
17   Pry Bar
18   Hammer
19   Wrench
20   Jacket

1d30 Adjective
1    Ugly
2    Morose
3    Violent
4    Drunken
5    Slovenly
6    Bucolic
7    Trustworthy
8    Nonplussed
9    Disinterested
10   Forgotten
11   Embittered
12   Hidden
13   Worthless
14   Diabolic
15   Exquisite
16   Beautiful
17   Dishonest
18   Worthy
19   Friendly
20   Lackadaisical
21   Holy
22   Blasphemous
23   Ambidextrous
24   Disoriented
25   Tardy
26   Poignant
27   Unfinished
28   Numerous
29   Great
30   Terrible

There you have it. Now have fun making up the names for your own Dyvers styled Companies!

Sunday, December 6, 2015

1,000 Scores to Settle

For the last two months I've been looking at a number as it slowly ticked its way forward towards a new milestone on the blog: post 1,000. It's weird because at a thousand posts it feels like I should be doing something monumental with the blog. A giveaway of things I don't have or perhaps a thousand blowjobs to strangers - only my jaw wouldn't hold out that long and I really don't like the idea of sucking dick. I mean, if that's your thing, more power to you but I just have this really terrible gag reflex and I'm not into dudes and their wangs. 

Perhaps I've gotten distracted and shared too much. 

Anyway since this is the thousandth post and we're way into the millions of words posted on Dyvers I thought it would be a fun time to tell you about what's coming up on the blog by using pictures. Remember, using images instead of words to vaguely communicate your meaning isn't a sign of my being a self-important bag of dicks but rather a test to see if you're cool enough for my corner of the internet what with its nerdy fucking D&D content and shit.

It makes it hardcore if I curse, fool. 


Fuck yeah, D&D.

Closing Comments.

Due to the influx of spam comments on Dyvers I am closing the comments. I'm not currently doing anything with this blog, but I don'...