Little Boy was getting a bit verbose in his descriptions and I had the feeling that his wife had been buying word of the day calendars again. Somewhere in there I zoned out; I believe it was around the time that he started describing the vermillion drapes and the expressions on the two-hundred porcelain dolls that seemed to watch you no matter where you went in the room. The next thing I knew Poot was nudging me in the ribs and whispering, "What sort of dumb mother fucker are we playing with here? Honestly, he hasn't even checked for traps! And now he's naming each of the dolls! What. the. fuck."
I don't know what sort of crazed beast we had let loose in that dungeon with us, but it was telling that Pony Tail's biggest concern wasn't looking for traps but naming the god-damned dolls and looking for "shine-ies" as he drawled it out under each one of their precious little bottoms. I stood there at the entrance way, watching him pick up each doll and gently placing it back again when he found nothing under them, and it was about that time that Biggboy noticed what was going on.
He looked at me, and then to Pony Tail, and then to Little Boy. Back and forth he went for a solid thirty seconds. In that gravely voice he said, "What's he picking up?"
"Is he going to fuck them?"
I don't know.
"Fuck this shit, I have people to kill and this is slowing me down," he said as he dove into the dolls, smashing them to bits.
So as we're making our way forward I'm finding myself healing the fool at every turn. Already fixing his ass had burned through all but one of my healing spells and he'd drank me to my last healing potion. I know that I shouldn't have let my temper brake when at the next door he snapped my knife in the lock, but I was done with this foolishness.
"Do you have another knife?" he sheepishly asked me.
Of course I do, I replied as I slammed his head down on the doorknob and worked his jaws to open it.