Thursday, December 19, 2013

If You're Going to Be Evil Part 6

Walking over to the squad car I realized that there were only two people on that corner who could make this situation better: Poot and me. Neverwas, for all his bluster, was essentially a coward who tended to hide back and then tell you afterwards, "Everything alright? I was listening trying to decide if I should jump in and knife 'em." Little Boy had been arrested enough in his life and was making every effort to avoid even the suspicion that he might be involved in something illicit. Thief 1 and Thief 2 tended to hang back hoping that no one would notice them; while Baby Momma and Kid Icarus really didn't want to get involved in anything that might screw up their day (I've since learned that this is called prudence). Pony Tail was afraid of his own shadow and Biggboy was so high at that time that he can't remember this game. 

So like I said, only Poot and I were in any shape to make this situation better; and that only got clearer as I looked into the squad car and saw a friendly face.

"What's up kids?"

Tiger had escorted me to the bank at the end of the night more times than I can count, and on top of that he was a damned fine cop. It seems that he had been patrolling the area and had seen everybody out on the corner at 2:00 in the morning and decided that he had best find out what was going on. He'd just started talking to Poot when I had walked up. So we're standing out in the cool of the morning telling him about all of us playing a role-playing game; and then having to explain what the fuck that was; and then having to explain that we're not dressing up in silly costumes or attempting to summon real demons. Finally he laughed at us and told us, "Mind those dangerous friends of yours," and drove off to fight real crimes.

Life in a small town.


As we sat back down at the table Poot started telling me about our options. "On the one hand we could let the plan play out. I think that most everyone is fed up with Neverwas and they're all ready to have a hand in killing his character off; or we could just knife the mother fucker while he's sleeping."

Who would you have do it? He won't sleep if it's me, you, or Biggboy on watch.

"Baby Momma."

Seriously? Is she ready for the backlash?

"Most definitely."

Then Baby Momma it is. 

Each of us started passing the word along to the others in the group. I slipped a note to Biggboy and he whispered the plan to Thief 1 who tapped out the change in Morse Code for Thief 2; while Poot announced, "Looks like this shit's getting old. I think we should press our luck." 

If Neverwas had been spending his time paying attention to what we were doing instead of ordering us about he probably would have survived that night, but as things were, he was far too wrapped up in the idea of being the leader to actually lead us. So he assigned us our watches for that night. I would be on first along with Biggboy, Poot and Neverwas. Second watch consisted of Pony Tail - who was still in Neverwas' pocket - Kid Icarus, and Thief 2. Third watch had Baby Momma and Thief 1. 

I noticed that Baby Momma was furiously writing so before Little Boy could move past our watch I asked him a few questions to give her the time she needed to finish.

What's the weather like tonight?

"I don't know, cold and clear."

Do we hear any animals making noise out there? Or is it completely quite.

"You hear the normal night critters."

That's bad. 

"What? Since when is that bad?"

Well, I was reading about a group of Native Americans who would mimic the natural sounds of the night as they approached a settlement for a raid. 


I don't see why not. Do I know of any local tribes who might employ that tactic?

"Roll me a Knowledge Local."

No sooner had he answered my question then did Poot jump in asking about the type of wildlife in the area, and if there were any recent reports of bandits, other than us of course. On and on we went, pushing to give her time to finish writing what must be the Moby Dick of ninja notes. Until at last Little Boy had, had enough and told us that our watch was over and moved on to the next watch. 

Never have I enjoyed myself more then when I got to listen to Kid Icarus and Thief 2 argue about the magical properties of the woods about them. Little Boy got caught up in the distraction and they bought Baby Momma the ten more minutes she needed. 

Finally it was third watch. 

Little Boy began to roll his dice when Baby Momma handed him a note. He read it once, and looked at her. Ten seconds, twenty. Then he read it again and started laughing. "Are you sure you want to do this on your watch?"

She nodded. 


He rolled a d20 and started the ball rolling.


  1. My apologies to Mike Monaco, of the blog Swords and Dorkery, as my browser crashed while I was correcting this post and deleted the original version of this section.

    Mike wrote, "Excellent play reports. Sounds like you guys have a lot of fun."

    Thanks Mike, it was a lot of fun and I'm glad you're enjoying them!

  2. Please post the finish. I need to know now!


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