Wednesday, December 18, 2013

If You're Going to Be Evil Part 5

Neverwas had already stepped outside the dungeon doorway and was admonishing us for going in there in the first place. His ball cap was down over his eyes and his scraggly beard was bristling up in what I presume he thought of as an intimidating manner. He pointed that finger at me and then at Biggboy and said, "Now you're going to fall in line or we're going to put an end to the both of you."

I was going to tell him that it would be a cold day in hell before I listened to his bullshit ass, but Biggboy raised his hands up and said, "Fine, fine, we'll be good." I was so damned shocked that it took me fully thirty seconds to realize that a second note had been passed to Little Boy.

"Stick to the plan," Poot whispered in my ear. So I bit back my venom and raised my hands in acquiescence. I regretted it immediately, but if everything went according to the plan it would be worth it. For the next thirty minutes Biggboy, Poot and I were good little boys, dutifully performing every task that our "leader" demanded. We set up an ambush spot and spent a week robbing stage coaches and killing sniveling guards that were only there to challenge us, not to beat us. All the while Thief 1 and Thief 2 were sending notes to Little Boy who was scribbling away his answers as fast as he could to keep up.

They were sending messages on note cards at first. Then when they ran out of cards they used bits of notebook paper and moldy book covers. At one point they even wrote a message on the side of a pencil and leaned over Little Boy's shoulders to await his answer. That was the note that pushed Neverwas over the edge. "What are you two doing?" he barked in his most authoritative manner. 

Each looked at a corner of the roof, far, far away from Neverwas and said, "Nothing."

Seems legit, I said, but I need a piss break. So time out!

Before Neverwas could press the issue the room broke as the smokers headed outside where Poot and Biggboy would corner Little Boy. The plan was a simple one, but if it broke the wrong way our side would be dead within five minutes and the boys had to establish our line of thought in Little Boy's mind. 

The plan had to succeed.

Thorough their notes Thief 1 and Thief 2 had been sending missives off to the High Druid north of Harn and to the Grand Wizard (Thief 1 had come back as a wizard) in Harn proper. Biggboy was preparing to cook the night's meal using all of the ingredients he'd been collecting since we came down the well - and Little Boy had already determined in a "ninja" note that if anyone ate all that nasty shit they would most definitely die. And as I stood there at the urinal Poot was saddled next to Baby Momma and Pony tail pushing them away from Neverwas and into our pocket.

Surely it would work, I thought as I washed up, and then I found myself getting tired. I had worked my 128th day straight going into this game, averaging 16 hours a shift, and looking at myself in the mirror I began to realize that I was wearing a bit thin. For the first time in my life I could actually see gray creeping into my hair and over the last three months I had really started smoking and drinking entirely too much. Ho, ho! You're getting much too serious, kid. Let's get back to the game and deal with that mess later.
As I stepped outside Elton's Lifetime Loser Lounge to bring everyone back to the table I saw the black and white squad car pulled on the curb and Poot talking to the policemen. It seems the cops had come to join our game.


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