Showing posts with label Baby Momma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baby Momma. Show all posts

Friday, September 13, 2013

30 Day Dungeons and Dragons Challenge, Day 13: The Best Traps of Mice and Men . . .


Kid Icarus contemplating his next move
Kid Icarus was playing a character named Caster the Trap Master and he, along with seven other players, were exploring a vampire's villa. For several hours the group had been split up with Caster and Tik the Barbarian in one group and everyone else with Step-up's rogue Andrea.

Now Andrea had encountered a rather complex door trap early that evening which involved a Gelatinous Cube suspended in a tiny hole above the door handle and best she could determine there was no way she could prevent the Ooze from exploding out of the hole. So, with the help of her group, she removed the door from the wall and with great care laid it against the railing of the second story walkway. The trap did not trigger and the group went on with their explorations.

For several hours each group continued exploring the villa before they rejoined one and another during a confrontation with the Vampire. This fight was long, bloody, and ended with the deaths of two of the group. At this time the house began to flood with blood. The party picked up their dead and raced out of the building crossing paths with the door. Everyone went over and under the door without hesitation - everyone that is except Caster the Trap Master.

Caster stopped what he was doing and began to examine the trap. From below he could hear the party working on the door. Andrea was unconscious and their only cleric had died so Tik and Ogre were hacking away at the thick, thick oak door. Still the trap intrigued him. So he attempted to remove it, and the door handle with the trap.

I can still remember the look on Baby Momma's face as Kid Icarus rolled a natural 1!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Dyvers Session 003

If you're new to the Dyvers Campaign you can start from the beginning by reading the article The Dyvers Campaign Begins. You can also catch up on all the related campaign notes, session write-ups, house rules, and campaign fluff by reading the Dyvers Campaign Page.  

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The session began with Tomas talking with the group after the previous night's events. In a stuttering, restrained manner he explained that he could not help them directly with their situation as events were beginning to unfold in the world of Oerth that brought dark tidings and if he were found to be involved with them things would only be exacerbated. What he could do, however, was to introduce them to some new traveling companions that might help them in finding the root cause of these bizarre events and point them in the direction of Deadfall Moors.

Rillen the Changeling and Yonkal Hillstrider (the only two original characters that were being played that night) were introduced to Tok the Half-orc Bard, Meg the Half-elven Sorceress (and sister to Tok), Brian the Brawling Sorcerer, and Jar'Kell the Paladin of Heironeous. The group mulled their options for most of that day as Jar'Kell argued that they should avoid the Deadfall Moors and instead head to Veluna so that they might combat the hordes of humanoids that threaten to overwhelm that once proud land. By the following day he had relented and agreed to follow everyone else into the Deadfall Moors. 

Rain was coming down heavily as the group made their way east and hunger soon had them making camp. Brian laid down in Yonkal's tent and was fast asleep while Tok attempted to play his lute without much success. As Tok's out of tune lute playing continued Yonkal and Meg attempted to learn about each other.; while Rillen the Changeling and Jar'Kell left the camp: Rillen to hunt and Jar'Kell to scout ahead.
Yonkal and Meg wisely choose to stay the fuck away from the big fucking deer.
After some time Jar'Kell determined that his scouting was essentially fruitless and decided to hunt instead. He stealthily moved through the woods until he came to a clearing some hundred yards north of the campsite. There he spotted a deer larger than any he had ever seen before. It was easily three feet broad and its antlers were so large that his six foot wing span could not encompass them. He took aim, fired, and watched in dumb disbelief as the massive beast turned on him and charged. 

With a single strike the deer bloodied Jar'Kell and tore the front of his armor to shreds. He cried out as it then stomped on his leg and turned to leave. Unfortunately for poor Rillen it turned just in time to avoid his magical strike.

All of the commotion of the battle had gotten the attention of the camp and soon Yonkal, Meg, and Tok had abbandoned Brian as they rushed to discover what had happened. Yonkal and Meg would be the first to arrive; just in time to see Rillen's now lifeless body being shaken like a ragdoll by the massive deer. Jar'Kell drew his falchon and attacked the beast only to be dropped as well. 

Yonkal and Meg wisely choose to stay the fuck away from the big fucking deer.

Tok, on the other hand, charged into the beast and was soon enraged. It was then that Meg revealed his secret to Yonkal: Tok was no bard, rather he was a barbarian. Tok and deer exchanged blows until finally Tok cleaved its head from its shoulders.

What I've Learned

After nearly a five week layoff from playing Dungeons and Dragons we finally got to play the Dyvers campaign again. I love running an ongoing campaign but after such a long layover I should not have allowed three new players to come in; but my brother and his wife were able to play for the first time in three years and I just couldn't say no to them and I wanted to interject some new blood into the group . . . The end result was a night where the game did not live up to its normal levels of enjoyment for me or for the group. The Master Planner in particular seemed to have a terrible time and that just bummed me the fuck out. I take a lot of pride in how my sessions go and when things get wonky I take it very personally.

The other problem was New Boy. He has potential to be a really good player, but he has been around too many bad players up to this point. He has no table manners and attempts to dominate the game. Twice I had to instruct him that it was someone else's turn and that he would have to wait for his to come up again. A third time and I would have kicked him from the table. 
Biggboy will just fucking kill his character and move on.
I can clearly see where he has been playing and who he has been playing with in the two years since I last gamed with him. I can see their fingerprints in how he role-plays and how he thinks the action should take place. From Neverwas, the World's Greatest Liar, and the Madman he's been taught that each player should attempt to dominate the action and that the others should just fucking suck it up. He should be contrary and self-important. In a word: a douche. 

I will break him of sucking eggs just as I have every other player who attempted that shit at my table and I will enjoy watching the Master Planner, Step-up, and the Might She as they mold him into a great player that can hang with the best of them. That is unless Biggboy comes in with the next session. 

Biggboy will just fucking kill his character and move on.

My plan now is to go back to my old stand-by and relearn my craft by reading my Referee's Toolbox file that I keep on my computer. I've filled it with all the important articles on Dungeon Mastering I've encountered over the last few years. It seems like every time I have a bad session rereading that file really helps me get back into the proper groove.

30 Day Dungeons and Dragons Challenge, Day 10: Craziest Thing You've Ever Seen in a Game

When I first started running games of Dungeons and Dragons I held it as my mission to keep the game going. If I didn't know a rule I made it up on the spot and corrected the ruling the next session. When my players went right and killed the king rather than left and killing the dragon I just rolled with it. My goal was to never allow my players to catch me speechless; and for nearly three years I was very successful - that is until Biggboy decided that it was his job to fluster me. In the four years since he has succeeded in doing so three times.

Called Shot Mouth

Biggboy was playing an Ogrun Barbarian named Ogre. For weeks they had been exploring a series of underground cave complexes and battling their way through the underdark. On this particular night the party had encountered a rather loquacious vampire named Felix who was waxing eloquently about how he was going to grind their bones and flay their skins; that he would enslave their families and rape their pets. On and on, and on he spoke as the table grew quieter and quieter.

Then a gravely voice called out, "I'm shitting in my hand and call shoting that fucker's mouth."

After a pause as I tried to work that out he then announced, "I just natural twentied that shit. What do I roll for damage?"

I'll Let You 

Biggboy was playing a female cleric who's name escapes me, but I'll never forget what that cleric would do to win at life. On this particular occasion the party had been investigating a slaver's hold when they came across an Infernal Curator (Monsternomicon Vol 1, pg 102), a demon-devil crossbreed is the best way to describe this particular beast, that was in the middle of torturing a troll's soul from his body. Biggboy's cleric boldly strode into the room and asked the Curator if it knew the way out. The Curator atomized the troll and announced to the group that they would be next. The cleric asked if there were some other way, to which the Curator replied, "what could you offer me but your souls?"

"I'll let you cornhole me."

My Friend

We had been playing a marathon session in the Kimber City campaign, and the party had just escaped from a prison complex run by a local cult of Vecna into the city of Amber. The entire city was in ruins when they made the street. No one they encountered was alive and there was ample evidence of dark magics and chemical weapons at work in the city.

Being adventurers, they boldly avoided confronting the cause of this shit storm and instead began to explore the surrounding neighborhood looking for anything remotely shiny and valuable. It was during the course of their exploration that Baby Momma found herself confronted with a Kani Doll (Bestiary of Krynn pg. 84). The Doll, being empowered by the abundance of dark magic at work, began to warp space around the room.

Baby Momma would leave the room only to reenter it. She ran from the room and was back in the room holding the doll. She threw it down and lept through the window only to land on the bed in the Kani's outfit, still clutching the doll. For ten minutes I wound her up and thoroughly creeped her out - to the point I was actually starting to feel bad.

It was then that Biggboy entered the room. Baby Momma was whining and he asked her what was wrong. "This doll's really freaking me the fuck out." He picked up the doll and it bit him. He just laughed. It stabbed him and he laughed. It's head spun and it announced, "I'm going to devour your soul!" He just laughed and said, "You're my friend."

And I'll be damned if he wasn't right.

Closing Comments.

Due to the influx of spam comments on Dyvers I am closing the comments. I'm not currently doing anything with this blog, but I don'...