Monday, August 18, 2014

It's So Quiet.

The last few days have been really quiet out here on the blogging front. I realize that it's because most people are travelling back and forth from GenCon 2014 to home; but that's not what I imagine to be happening. In my strange little fantasy land all these quiet blogs are actually run by aliens from the planet Quelong in the Orion Nebula and they've all been called back as the Quelongians (yeah, that's totally the correct spelling) are preparing to invade Antarctica. 

You see, while we view the Antarctic as this massive ice ball filled with stupid penguins and bleating seals there is actually a massive hive city operating underneath the ice. This city is run by the last of the Neanderthals who have been looking for a way to provide us with the secret of immortality - which they discovered after accidentally having sex with the wrong end of a Saw-saw. The Quelongians are looking to keep that secret for themselves as they find it remarkably enjoyable to have sex with mobile, inanimate, objects while wearing Stetsons and smoking illegally obtained cigars that were rolled by child labor (the tears of children, they say, only make the cigars more enjoyable).

I have a rich inner life and a new campaign setting just waiting to be unleashed on the world!

12 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Actually it's the end without the blade; but you know, if you have a kink I'm not going to judge.

      Delete
  2. I was in Maine with no access, on a rocky point of land stretching just a bit into the ocean where at night, with the right amount of wind and tin foil I just catch the transmissions for my Quelongion overlords.

    ReplyDelete
  3. While possible, I severely doubt the Quelongians are that well organized. Previous encounters with my people suggest...er...I mean...that's one wild story there fellow normal Human.

    Yessiree. Just a normal Human here. Nothing special. Look over there, a popular sports team game with an add for your favorite carbonated, alcoholic beverage!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I snorted coke out my nose when I read this one!

      Delete
  4. My next character is going to dual-wield see-saws.

    --Dither

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That seems like the sort of game I want to be involved in.

      Delete
    2. Years ago, one of my friends built a half-orc fighter with enough Strength to carry and wield a row boat as an improvised weapon. Not the oars... the boat.

      He also used it to cross a fissure we were supposed to jump. We looked up the description and the thing was long enough -- he just set it down and we climbed across it.

      --Dither

      Delete
    3. Stop telling stories from my life!

      Delete
    4. I believe that was the same adventure in which I played a mute druid who spoke in pantomime. I made some big, vague gestures when asked my name, and the party decided to call me "Big Rainbow."

      The "Sudden Silent Spell" metamagic feat was really handy.

      --Dither

      Delete

Let's Make Something Challenging Together

The more that I've thought about creating a 30 Day Challenge list the more that I've become serious about actually doing it; and a...