Thursday, February 5, 2015

Life Choices and Other Lies I Tell for Fun

This morning I woke up with a slight head cold and an irresistable urge to tinker with Dyvers. I mean, the site is more popular than it's ever been so why not fuck everything up by changing it?

Good idea? Good idea. 

So no more jokes on the site. I'm going to be super fucking serious at all times quoting Tolstoy and Sartre at inappropriate moments and the pretending like doing so totally ended the argument. Then when you try to argue with you "facts" I'm going to claim that you don't get me - JUST LIKE MY DAD! - in all caps or that you're a god-damned bigot.

Or not. 

Hard to say at this point as my son has just taken off his pants and is chasing the dog about the house trying to put them on her head. I should, I should probably go.


  1. "To say that a work of art is good, but incomprehensible to the majority of men, is the same as saying of some kind of food that it is very good but that most people can't eat it. So there, You God-damned bigot."

    That's Tolstoy right?

    1. It might not be something he actually said but he damned well should have!

  2. Oh yeah? Well it has come to my attention that there are now so many people in my household that we can't fit everyone into one vehicle to go somewhere. What brought this to my attention, you might ask? The giant fricken silver minivan that someone parked in my driveway last night. I'm not even forty. So before some god-damned bigot thinks to tell me that having so many kids is socially, environmentally and financially irresponsible I'm just going to say this: The best part about kids is making them. Now, please excuse me, I need to go back outside and finish scotch guarding the interior of said vehicle.

  3. Replies
    1. For now.

      *stares without blinking*

      For now.

  4. Ah you poor, chained down, gullible saps.

    Kids, mortgages, minivans - that's what THEY want us to do. It's all part of the conspiracy.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I have to readjust my tin foil hat, and finish binge watching the Twilight Zone.

    1. I should have bought a tin foil hat when they were on sale but I was too busy telling her, "I love you." Now look at me!


  5. I get the feeling that this is an inside joke only truly to be understood by those who have read a certain blog post or G+ comment. I also get the feeling that I am better off not knowing.

    1. I'm trying to decide if I should imagine you saying that with a coy, come-hither look, or with a sly, mysterious look.


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Closing Comments.

Due to the influx of spam comments on Dyvers I am closing the comments. I'm not currently doing anything with this blog, but I don'...