Tuesday, March 24, 2015

You're Talking Out the Side of Your Neck

As I've gotten older I've become more direct and less willing to engage in esoteric  arguments with people who are over their heads in the debate. It really got started back when I was going to college for a philosophy degree. 

See in the philosophy department you get a lot of different types of people but really only a couple of attitudes from the hardcore philosophy nerds. You've got your "I'm so much better and smarter than the rest of you mothers" neck-beards who know no more about what's going on than can they tell the difference between a hole in the ground and their assholes.  Then there are the cats who are trying to find themselves and think developing a personal philosophy will be the answer to all their internal struggles. Mostly good kids there and that's a good thing since they make up the majority of the department. Then you have the folks who know themselves too well and underestimate what they're capable of and as a result never make any waves. If you're wondering I feel into the second category and as a result the neck-beards tended to look down on me (as they do with the majority of the world). To them if I wasn't proclaiming to the whole world how brilliant I was then I couldn't be all that damned smart so they would attempt to bait me into these debates where they thought I would be out of my depth. Problem is, even though I'm funny and like to talk about silly shit, I'm smarter than they thought I was - still am. 

Anyway, these dumb bastards would come talking down to me about Foucault, or who ever happened to be the trendy philosopher of the week (way too often it would be Sartre), and they expected me to sit there with a slack jaw in awe of their intellectual superiority. My usual response began with, "No, you're wrong." From there I would begin to break their points as they would imperiously make these idiotic pronouncements. Eventually the conversations would end with them storming off talking about how I just didn't understand the depth of their arguments while the other philosophy majors laughed about them making an ass out of themselves. 

As you can imagine I developed a reputation.

For a while I thought that I was doing something important because I was a dumb kid who thought that arguing with assholes about shit that doesn't matter made me important. It would be a few years, and take an awesome experience of working in the highest pressure environment I've ever experienced, before I fully moved away from that attitude. That doesn't mean that I don't still argue with assholes who come along peacocking and pretending that they're so damned smart that they can't believe they're having to sully their hands with our shit. I totally still do that. The difference is that once I've figured out that someone is a fucking moron, who's trying to prove how smart they really aren't, I just move on. I haven't the time to waste on that shit anymore.


  1. It's always been amazing to me how most folks with perceived superior minds enjoy denigrating others with a smug smile and a few condescending words. Lift your brothers and sisters up, that is righteousness. Put on some Sabbath and roll a fat-fattie...I'm down to discuss any conjecture one cares to propose. Like, the profundity that nothing in English rhymes with orange. OMG.

    1. See it's the fact that they're not really that smart that makes them act that way. Insecurities are a bitch to the Nth degree.

  2. Rabble rabble rabble... *insert neck pontification here* *insert snide attack on ones intelligence here* rabble rabble rabble

    Hope that made you chuckle.

  3. I took a couple philosophy courses as an undergraduate. In one the professor liked to argue with the class under the guise of trying to get the students to "think critically," but it was more to pontificate his own views.

    In one lecture, one the ethics of gun control, he started comparing pistols with bazookas. Somebody in the class pointed out they belong into different classes of firearms by law.

    The professor looked flabberghasted and said proclaimed: "What's the difference? They both KILL PEOPLE!"

    "One's bigger than the other," I said.

    "Bazookas don't take bullets," another person said.

    And the classic: "Guns don't kill people, people kill people."

    The professor looked even more irate. Then he switched topics.

    I think the class would have been far more productive if he'd just divided us into groups have each of us argue with each other--with him serving as a moderator.

  4. This post is ...anti-beard?

    Seems like a recent phenomena; I don't remember anyone hating on beards until a few years back... maybe it's a post 9/11 thing: going out of style because the bad guys all wear them. (Kinda like hitler and his mustache.)

    Seems weird for society to have facial hair police but whatever.

    1. Anti-beard? No, I like beards plenty although I've never used one myself (HA!).

      Thank you! Tip your waitresses; I'll be here all week.

  5. i loved to argue and be contrary before i did 5 years of philosophy - now seems more like pointless work and im less curious so im glad i did it - anyone into fashionable philosophers was silly. If you did not have strange hair you would be looked down on - bald, beard, crazy grey hair whatever.


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