Wednesday, June 24, 2015

It Was One of Those Days.

"June has been a frustrating morass of horseshit," he said as he opened another beer and passed it to me. "Twenty-five days in and I feel like I may as well have been taking a hammer to my dick for all the good it's done me."

"That seems a bit extreme," I said as I sipped my beer. "I mean your wife might need that thing again."

"Fuck that," he said as he threw an empty bottle at the fence and listened to it shatter with a satisfied smile. "We've already got four kids I don't need another one."

"Condoms work."

"Not with that woman."

I stared at him for a while as he looked back at me. Then he hung his head down, letting his hair cover his face, and said, "I think she takes a pin to the condoms."

"What?" I said with a laugh, "You're not serious."

He looked back at me and shook his head, "I found a needle in the draw where we keep the condoms."

"Well that doesn't prove anything," I said as I set the beer down, "she could have been sewing on the bed."

"Are you kidding me? That bitch barely even knows how to put a bandage on, let alone sew."

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