Monday, January 16, 2017

Well, I'm Just Left Clutching My Monstrous Boobies in Outrage!

A couple of weeks ago Kotaku published an article, Dungeons & Dragons’ Gradual Shift Away From Monster Boobs, that heralded the end of the naked, monstrous bosom. The article was re-tweeted by several members of the Wizards of the Coast design team and I noticed that a few of the people in my twitter feed were excited that there would be no naked breasts shown in the new edition. And it honestly read like these were the same sort of people who checked out art books from local libraries so they could take black magic markers and draw censor lines over all the naked breasts, crotches, and dongs.

I've never understood the people in this life who think that nudity is such a terrible thing that it must be censored from our lives at all times. No tits; no dicks. Then they want to tell you all about how open minded they are and how they're fighting for the rest of us when they restrict what we can view, create, and enjoy. 

Now I've got to get back to my paperwork so her's an awesome gif that makes me happy.

Update 1/17/2017 5:36 AM EST

Over on the Google Plus side of things +Gus L made a good point that I'd like to add over here so that it doesn't get lost.

"I think all they're suggesting is A) Sexy monsters will try to be sexy to people besides straight teen boys. B) Not all female monsters will be sexy or sexy in the same sort of Franzetta way that they were in the 1e Monster manual. C) D&D doesn't show nekkid boobs (or boob-like nipple free domes) anymore - presumably for the children and to head off the next satanic panic.  
I mean that's nothing to freak out about. Sounds a lot like the inclusivity bit in the 5e starter set - which to me seems pretty reasonable. Table top has always been a haven for folks that feel a bit outcast from the everyday world - and these days folks are starting to recognize that's a lot of people besides white teenage straight boys whose souls are melting form the conformity of the Mid-Western suburb."


  1. what about nude small breasts? Can we still have those? I'm just curious if there is a distinction... or midriff, is midriff ok? Perhaps and ankle here and there...
    And don't forget about those poor owl-bears, most of them run around totally NAKED all of the time!

    1. We need to do a charity drive for those poor owl-bears! They must have pants!

    2. Owlbear-pant-o-thon.
      Raise money to buy poor naked owlbears lederhosen (Because that's what they wear, naturally.)

      Event Sponsored by:
      Goldman Sachs,
      Gap Inc,
      Koch Industries,
      That guy who stares out fo the 20th floor of his office building longing for a life he once enjoyed,
      Hormel (gravy division only)
      Your friendly neighborhood independent-expenditure only committee.
      Modell's sporting goods.
      Two Wok Fu thanks for everything buffet / hibachi
      The NBA players association
      Toys Are Us.
      The Gygax memorial fund.
      Friends of the owlbear LLC.
      Bush's Baked Bean Company (Just that weird fluid you pour off the top division)
      Snoop Dogg

    3. I dunno. A few months ago Marvel came under fire for sexualizing the new Iron Man...Ironheart. But everyone overlooks how 99% of the characters are drawn. I think Marvel did it to sell comics.

      Pure honesty, Art Adams, when I was 13+, drew some sexy women. I'd like to say I read his stuff for the stories, but I would be lying.

  2. Red Sonja was designed, in part, to titillate, but the stories brought you back each month. I can't deny that sex sells, but I'm so damned frustrated by people who claim to be "progressive" that advocate censorship and shaming. Total disconnect for me!

  3. There's a vast gulf between "censorship" and "marketing to a wider audience".


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