Friday, March 14, 2014

Borkum 27, the Drink that Hates You More than You Hate Yourself.

So you have a death wish and want to make the Borkum 27 I mentioned in Where for Art Thou, Hipster Child, but don't know how to since I made it up for that last post? Well, you're in luck because I've got the answer.

Supplies

  • Two 1 liter container that can be shut air tight.
  • 1 Package of Borkum Riff pipe tobacco - I prefer the Bourbon flavor
  • 1 liter of Vodka (quality matters so stray towards Vox and that price range as opposed to cheaper vodkas)
  • 1 funnel
  • 1 box of coffee filters

Okay, Got It. Now What?

Take all of the pipe tobacco and shove it into the bottom of the container, poor your vodka on top and seal the container. Put it somewhere away from the light and let the entire concoction infuse for 27 days.

That's Done. Now Do We Drink?

Not quite. 

At this point you need to take your second container and place the funnel in its mouth. Open a single coffee filter and center it in the funnel. Then open another coffee filter and lay this one on the side of the funnel; repeat this process until you've covered all the sides of the funnel. Finally add a second coffee filter over the center.

It can seem like you're going to a lot of effort here but trust me keeping the tobacco shreds out of your infused vodka is well worth the effort. 

Now pour your infused vodka into the funnel. Never let the liquid get over about two-third of the funnel's depth. By keeping yourself from going higher you prevent the possibility of over filling the funnel and having it flip out, and thereby ruining nearly a month's worth of waiting.

After you've filtered the concoction you're finally ready to drink.

So Should I Drink This? 
It Smells Like Death.

Fuck no.

9 comments:

  1. Needs more diabetic hobo piss.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're absolutely right! It would totally give it a bit of a sweat tang.

      Delete
  2. ...And I thought I was being daring when I infused vodka with birch oil; as an ex-smoker, I'm afraid that tobacco infused liquor would result in a hulk-style rampage on my part! (No, not Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde type transformations, that's just way too classy.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It kind of tickles me that the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde is considered classy to you.

      Delete
    2. Didn't Mr Hyde wear a top hat in the original piece as written by RLS? That just has that touch of class!

      Delete
  3. Actually, It would contain enough nicotine to kill you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And thus the reason why you should not drink it.

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. I wonder if it's an extract they use to infuse the vodka with the flavor or if it's infused like how we do it at home?

      Delete

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