She Asked Me to Tell Her a Story

I was sitting in the room watching the tail end of yet another defeat for my beloved Bears when a girl started crying outside my window. I could hear a boy talking to her and decided that it was in my best interest to ignore them; that is right up until he screamed at her. It was a dangerous, guttural scream that had me out of my seat and down the hall before I knew I was moving. I leapt down the stairwell and kicked open the fire doors, What's this shit?

He was standing over her like some sort of predator, his hand raised and a snarl on his lips. "Who the fuck are you?"

I'm the god damned light brigade you mouth-breathing fuckhead. 

"Yeah, well mind your own fucking business."

You bring that hand one inch closer to her and I'll mind your ass in the grave. 

He stared at me as I stood there looking at him. I counted the seconds, trying to decide if he would press me or if he'd break for it. The moment hung in the air and then he dropped his arm down and said to her, "So you fucking this asshole too?"

If she was god knows she'd have cum for the first time in her life. 

"Fuck you!"

I charged him and he ran. Really? You're not even going to make a go of it then you fucking yellow bastard!

"Fuck you, fag!" he shouted at me as he made for his car. I stood there next to the crying girl and watched him peal out of the parking lot screaming at me the whole way. By the time I finally looked away the girl was curled up in the fetal position on the concrete. 

There now, darling, I said as quite as a mouse, it's all going to be okay. Only it wasn't okay, not right then anyway. She cried as I picked her up in my arms and carried her to the lobby. We sat there for a long time as she told me all about Ricky; about how things had turned sour. He'd never hit her, but something seemed to snap in him today and he was just about to - then she cried again. Hours passed as she talked her broken heart away until finally it seemed like all of her tears were done. So we walked back to her dormitory where she kissed me on the cheek.

Walking back home I found that the cool autumn night reminded of fall on the mountain; where I could listen to the coyotes play in the hills and smell the leaves still smoldering in the evening air. Not here though. Here all I could smell was the hot stink of the sewers. 

A melancholy mood seemed to take hold of me as I walked along the quad and lit my cigar. By the time I made it back to the dorm my roommate had already arrived and was long since asleep. Sleep wasn't coming for me though, and it seemed I wasn't alone. 

The phone rang at 3:30 and I jumped to the reciever. It's three thirty in the morning, either you or someone I know had best be in trouble. 

"I'm in terrible trouble," came her pouty voice from across the continent, "I can't sleep at all."

Oh?

"Tell me a story."

I smiled as I said, Did I ever tell you about the time I went grouse hunting and caught a bull?