"I'm kind of excited about the new edition of Dungeons and Dragons," Icarus said.
"Yeah, you know everything you've told me sounds really cool."
I'm with you there. You know it's like they've gone out of their way to address every complaint we've had with them over the last fourteen years.
"What do you mean?"
Well, it's like this. We bitched about their adventures being crap so they went out and hired some of their favorite adventure designers to make the launch adventures. When we complained that their system wasn't flexible enough to allow us to use all our old shit they put out a system that's able to do just that. When people complained that their art wasn't serious looking enough they brought out some of the best art to be in a game in the last thirty years.
We said, 'you don't listen to us,' and they put out a public playtest and conducted some of the largest surveys of their consumer base ever - and then did everything they could to address our wants and concerns. Then we said, 'That's nice. Where are my fucking PDFs?' and they said, 'Right fucking here.' When we complained that there wasn't a great starter box at the launch of Fourth, and that when they did launch it that it wasn't worth the paper they printed it on, they said, 'Okay we hear you and we're dropping a boxed set that will make you hard just looking at it.'
When we complained that many of the indie game developers were letting us play their games for free before we bought them they said, 'valid point. Here's a fucking free version of the game that we're convinced will blow your faces off and get you to buy the Core Books.' To which we said, 'You think you're so clever don't you?'
Honest god, I couldn't imagine too much else that they could do to answer our criticisms.