Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Nobody Makes it Out Alive, Part 7: Smoking with Your Girlfriend
We were standing out on the curb watching Little E throw things in his office. Poot was smoking camels and I was pretending to smoke an American Spirit while Biggboy told us about setting stone on the outside of his parents home when Rudy came out to join us. "He's fucking pissed."
That was the goal.
"You wanted to piss on the Dungeon Master," he said before bursting out with laughter. "You guys are fucking nuts."
"He needs to learn a lesson," Neverwas said, "over the last few weeks he's gotten too big for his own britches. He's telling anyone and everyone who will listen that he's the greatest Dungeon Master who ever lived and that he's more old school than everyone else combined."
"Really," Rudy asked. "That son of a bitch never mentioned that in front of me."
That's because he didn't want you to know.
"So what's your plan?"
We're pushing his buttons so that I can break him. I'll keep raising the bet until I can clear everyone of their debts.
"Not mine," Step-up broke in, "he'll never get a dime from me."
Best not to go down that road. Step-up's reason is righteous, but we need to be able to get through the night.
"Fair enough," Step-up said as he lit up another cigarette. "Just remember that mine stays my own."
I stood there watching the commotion inside. Little E was yelling at Best Girl while he called his wife and kept gesticulating towards us with what I felt were some rather derogatory words spewing forth. If we were going to be able to push further than anyone else it was going to have to be while we had him on his heels. Poot, I called, I'm almost certain he's going to be bringing the pain when we go back in there.
"Really? What was your first clue?"
I laughed, Rudy, how long are you down for this mess?
"I can make it till ten, but after that I've got to head back to work."
Alright. Icarus, you've been listening to the other games what have we got ahead of us?
"More of the same, I think," Icarus said as he ran his hand along his chin. "The problem is that once we get past the sixth room we're going to be flying completely blind."
Not so different from normal. Okay, I said as I pulled out my notebook, we're going to be walking into a shit storm when we go back in there so we need to change our pair ups. Poot do you mind hanging next to Neverwas?
Okay, that should protect our Wizard. Biggboy if you don't mind hanging next to Icarus that should give him enough time to figure out how to get us out of the worst shit E can come up with.
"Cool with me."
Step, that's going to leave me trailing behind you. You okay with that?
"Sure darling," he said as he blew me a kiss, "just don't try to cop a feel."
Fair enough, I said through a laugh. Last thing we need to be aware of is the come back.
Poot looked over at Neverwas, "I think we should handle it."
"Seems like Icarus and I should," Biggboy countered. "I've got more hp to give and Icarus can keep me alive long enough to give you guys time to save my ass."
Probably the better choice, Poot.
"Yeah, but if he hits us from behind I've got more armor."
"True," Biggboy said, "but which of us is going to scare his ass more in real life."
Poot looked at him for a second and shrugged, "Fair enough."
Right, last thing I want to talk about before we head back in, I said making sure to meet each of their eyes, what do you guys want on your pizza? The all laughed as I took their orders and made the call.
"Do you think we've pushed him far enough to go for broke," Poot asked.
"Not yet," Neverwas answered. "If you're going to clear the slate he's going to need to feel like he doesn't have any other choice."
"Then we're just going to have to push harder," Step-up said."Watch yourselves, Best Girl is coming this way."
As she walked out the door her cheeks were flushed and a new level of anger seemed to be dancing across her face. "You're a real piece of work, you know that Charlie."
I've no idea what you're talking about, Best Girl, I said as I handed her a cigarette. I'm just playing a game.
"Thanks," she said as I handed her the lighter too. "Well you've got him pissed off and the dumb bastard's been yelling at me like it's my fault that I took the night deposit in already."
Ah, the pains of being good at your job.
"It's not even my job," she exploded. "I work a full time job."
Obviously he thinks that sucking his dick isn't enough.
Such language, I said in mock outrage. My delicate virgin ears may just fall the fuck off.
She laughed and drew a long drag off the cigarette. "Seriously though, why did you have to push this so far?"
I looked at her and cocked my head. This isn't anything, Best Girl. We're about to push this game farther than you ever thought anyone would go.
"You're kidding me," she said as she ran her hands through her hair. "He's already losing his shit in there."
Did he call his wife?
"Yeah," she said with an icy tone that made me smile.
How'd that go?
"She told him to ask his whore."
I hope you told him that you're fine with sucking his dick but you're not giving him a dime.
She started laughing at me. "I told him I didn't have the money. We don't get paid for another week."
"Really," Poot said, "you just loaned me a hundred dollars."
"Do you need it back?
"No," she said with a smile, "I just got paid yesterday."
You minx, I said, leave that tiny dicked bastard and come live with me. I'll let you pay my bills and ignore you far better than he ever could!
She laughed as Little E knocked on the glass to wave us in. Looks like it's time to see how far we can push this. Everybody ready, I asked as I looked at each of them.
"Yeah," Step-up said, "let's go teach this fucker a new way to walk."
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