Down with Your Oppressive Cool

I was sitting in the living room flipping through the latest issue of Juxtapoz while a friend of mine raged against the lack of originality in the world today. "The god damned, myopic intellectuals will be the death of us," he growled out. "They sit up there in those academic towers and postulate from up on high to tell us how to live."

Mmm.

"You know it's the fucking truth. While we're down here in the trenches of everyday life they're still living through books and view reality with this distorted lens where every answer can come from a book. Life doesn't work like that!" 

I think - 

"What, what do you fucking thing?"

I think that the problem with you is that you're the biggest fucking hipster in the history of mankind and you keep looking for something substantial in your life but can't stay with anything long enough to enjoy it because the minute someone else likes it, you move on. 

"People ruin everything."

You ruin everything by being like that. If you want to enjoy life you need to remember that the only person who matters is you when it comes to liking things. Who the fuck cares if Hot Topic is selling Deadpool.

"Those sons of bitches! I'll torch their fucking stores to the ground!"