Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Plunder the Depths and Return with Her Soul!

I was sitting on the park bench listening to the birds raise hell on each other when an acorn caught me clean in the temple. I jumped up and started searching for the lousy mother fucker who attacked me and there they were up in the top of tree. Two grey squirrels jumping up and down, chittering away.

You think you're safe? I'll be back later with a flame thrower and I'll burn you all up!

Sadly that never happened as the dorm next door had a meth lab busted and the cops wouldn't let me burn the tree down. Next time though, next time . . .

6 comments:

  1. People don't realize how angry those fuckers can be. Squirrels bark... and throw shit... it's really an epidemic... kill'em all.

    Yes I was chased by one mother fucker of a squirrel when I was a kid, he was keeping pace with my bicycle... think he is what probably drove me to hunting... I should be thankful I suppose.

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    Replies
    1. I hate them, but they do go good with dumplings.

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    2. Never had squirrel as a food source... flavor?

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    3. Never actually eaten them that I'm aware of, but my Pop tells me they taste like a more full flavored wild chicken.

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  2. Damn tree-rats are definitely evil. Had a roommate once who insisted they were spying on him and reporting to the CIA. Had a pellet gun to shoot them if they got too close to the window. But then he was probably buying meth from that dorm next door.

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    Replies
    1. Sounds less like Meth tom and more like PCP!

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