Answering Questions, Part I: About a Bear

A hunter makes camp and then goes out hunting. He walks exactly 10 km due south. Then he walks 10 km due east and shoots a bear. He discovers to get back to camp, he must walk 10 km due north. What color was the bear? +Shawn H Corey

That the color of the bear is your primary question does not surprise me, but have you not wondered why it distorted reality around it?

Think about it! The hunter moved 10 km south and then again as far east; yet he found that he only had to go 10 km north to get back to camp. Such a circumstance can only occur under the rarest of occasions!

It has been rumored for some time that after the radioactive cobalt bombs dropped their devastation over New Tokyo back in ’93 that one of the bears in the zoo had been transformed by the tremendous energies released. The villagers along the Mogami have reported seeing the beast for three hundred years as it makes its way along the river, tearing deep fissures in the earth as it passes.

They say that it on some days it is covered in weeping lesions and that on other days its fur shines like the noon day sun and all who look upon it die from radiation poisoning. The slightest scratch from its claws is rumored to tear a man’s soul apart across his entire lifetime!

Most assuredly this is the bear that your hunter killed and it must be that the cobalt bear has not died but that he has decided to punish your friend. Go to him now and warn him! Warn him before its too late!

Clarification needed: what time is it when he finds the bear? +Todd Colstrom

Time for such a creature is only relative to the position you are from it when it appears. If you’re next to it when the beast appears it may be 1989 and Prince is still putting out hit, after hit, after hit. Or you could be a half mile away, looking down your scope, at a creature that moved on seven days ago, all the while wasting away from dehydration and hunger.

Night. +Shawn H Corey 

Oh? Well then it couldn’t have been the cobalt bear for he only comes out during the day time.

I amend my early declaration and state that the bear’s color was brown.

Does the hunter have special night-vision gear of any sort, or does he shoot the bear un-aided? +Todd Colstrom 

From what I understand the hunter shot the bear with a specialized gun that he had implanted into his cybernetic arm after he lost his original one in the Battle of Seattle back in ’22. The rounds he used were modified elephant shot, which is only reasonable as all the elephants went extinct during the summer of ’19.

I should add that according to the police reports his round also hit what remains of the Washington Monument and knocked the head of Abraham Linclon off his statue at his memorial. They are looking for him and there is a substantial reward which I’m told includes not only money but the sexual partner of your choosing.

Things are getting weird in Virginia of late.