Neverwas had asked each of us to pass our character sheets up to him so that he could inspect them. I sent mine along with Poot and the Master Planner's as I slipped back into the house and started making a fresh cocktail only to find my quite solitude interrupted by a call back to the game.
I'll be there in a minute. I'm busy right now.
"Doing what," demanded Neverwas.
Praying, I said as I reverently poured my latest discovery, Thor's Hammer Vodka, over the three ice cubes sitting at the bottom of my highball glass.
"You need to get your ass out here now, I've got some questions about this character you're planning on playing."
In a minute, I called back as I took a fresh orange and cut a wedge out, squeezing it into the glass before I threw it in. Then I poured more vodka into the glass and finished it off with a splash of juice - to give it a bit more color. A sip to check that the concoction was right and I headed back out. Immediately I could tell that Neverwas hadn't been expecting anyone to disregard him and it had him on his heels. His beard was bristling and he had pulled down his hat so that his eyes just barely showed. "What's the deal with this bullshit?"
"A half-orc, lawful neutral, monk of St. Cuthbert?" he sputtered. "I know you're new at this so I'm going to give you an opportunity to change it."
What's wrong with it?
"See that's the problem," he started, "you don't even realize that you've built a fighter and have him dressed up as a monk."
"Fuck off," the Master Planner interrupted. "If he wants to play a monk with a seventeen strength and a nine charisma that's his prerogative."
"But," Neverwas had started to say; but where he would have gone from there we would never know as Poot had already jumped into the fray calling out, "Don't you be judgin' him. If he wants to play a six foot tall transvestite named Bertha with a penchant for short men named Tim we're here to support his right. We're all Democrats in this house so you can support his lifestyle choice or get the fuck out."
Sipping my cocktail, I gave Poot a wink and waited for Neverwas' next comment. A minute passed in silence, and then another, so I took the matter as settled and retook my seat.
Pulling out my brand new set of dice I started looking about the table. It was a full house tonight. Baby Momma was here with her boyfriend Thief 1. Thief 2 was whispering foul jokes into Poot's ear and the two were manically laughing over whatever meanness had passed between them. Kid Icarus was across from me and the Master Planner was bending his ear about World of Warcraft. Then there was Little Caesar and his corner full of dice that he would be using to cheat his way through the night. With me that made eight, one of the larger games I had been involved in since I had started playing the hobby three months earlier.
I sipped my cocktail, absently wondering if this could ever take off, and Neverwas cleared his throat. The game was about to begin.