Seriously? What am I reading for?
“Yeah, I mean ain’t nobody reading books no more.”
I’m reading books so that I don’t talk like an inbred, cow fucker who can only get his pecker hard after his latest date sprays him with mace.
“Are you fucking talking about me?”
No, I’m talking about your friend over there, I said with a wave to the young girl sitting in the corner.
She laughed and said, “You’re funny as fuck.”
“So why are you reading,” she asked in that little girl voice that women seem to think is so pleasing to our ears.
Lots of reasons, Doll, but most of them involve me wanting to keep sharp so that I can get ready for the fall when I go back to school.
“School?” said her mono-browed companion. “Man I had to drop out of school.”
Why? Did you have to help support your family?
“No. Rules, man. I couldn’t take their bullshit rules.”
Ah, so you’re telling me that you dropped out of school - the only way you’re ever going to be more than a pot head, meth dealing, social pariah - because of rules.
How’s that working out for you so far?
“Not too bad. I’ve got bitches and more cash in my pocket than you’d ever imagine.”
“Man, you got a real disrespectful fucking mouth.”
The mouth’s fine, Slick, it’s the mind that’s giving you the problems.
“How would you like it if I knocked your fucking teeth through the back of your skull?”
I slowly turned my seat to the side, so that I could angle my knee just right if he pressed this, and said, Test me.