Tales of Love from the Spam Bot: You've Been Awarded a Large Cash Settlement!

This morning I was working my way through my junk folder looking for something a friend had sent me when I found this little gem. Tucked deep in the folder was this rather officious looking email from the United Nations about my COMPENSATION SETTLEMENT. Clearly since it was written all in caps it had to be legitimate, so I opened it up and read away!

UNITED NATIONS OFFICE (scott@legal-island.com)
INTERNATIONAL RECONCILIATION AND LOGISTICS VAULT
UNITED NATIONS OFFICE (UN)
COMPENSATION SETTLEMENT OF ESCROW ACCOUNTS.

It is a pleasure to write you that we have reconciled with our logistic department on the reimbursement of some fund spent by you during the cause of your inadequate dealings with some imposters who claim to be staff in banks and other regional payment centers.

Our reconciliation teams with the prospectus instrument of the United Nations after freezing suspected imposters account. This support was fully effective with the help of World Bank after a summit meeting in London, on the financial analysis and financial stability issues fluctuating the economy with the international global standard.

After gathering of this sum, our logistic department gave us a list of beneficiaries to be paid a sum of $2.850,000.00 United States Dollars who fell victims to these imposters due to unawareness. And mode of payment was as well specified for proper conducts and financial regulations to kick against criminality during process of payment. We have arranged your payment through our swift card centers, with the latest instruction from United Nations Office And International Monetary Fund Reconciliation Office.

The card center will send you an Atm Visa Card which you will use to withdraw your money in any Atm Center, Banks and Union Pay Credit outlets in the world; You are hereby selected as an honor for this payment approval worth $2.850,000.00 United States Dollars, which you are to acknowledge the receipt of this mail in returning the required below to the Logistic Department by email listed below for immediately release of your above stated compensated funds so that there will be not mistake while delivering your funds to your home.

Office of Reconciliation and Logistics Vaults,
United Nations Office Representatives In Thailand
Contact Information Officer: Mr. Donald Bold
Email: mrdonaldbold@gmail.com
Tele: +66922879221

1. Full Name
2. Phone Number
3. Contact Address
4. Country

For your information, you have to stop any further communication with any other person or office claiming to be the right office to avoid any hitches in receiving your payment. Because of Impostors, we hereby issued you our code of conduct, which is (Atm-7750) so you have to indicate this code when contacting the Card Center by using it as your subject.

Kindly be informed that recipients shall be liable to pay $350 dollars which is obvious cost arising for the delivery of the donation parcel and there will be no hidden fees. This is due to Legal law protecting all donation funds misappropriation.

Yours in Service,

Mr. Ban Ki-Moon
UNITED NATIONS OFFICE
www.un.org/en/

You know when this really got real, like, for the really reals?

It was when this totally legit e-mail told me that I wasn't to contact anyone at the United Nations or any other organization, legal entity, or company who might be able to validate the authority of this e-mail, because fraudulent scammers who might try to impersonate them by going to a legitimate company and waiting for the possible call that might never come from me to ask if this whole thing were real are waiting for me to do just that. 'Cause if there's one thing that these scam artists are known for, it's going to extraordinary lengths to get my $350 dollars.

Also, Legal law.

Jesus, it's like these guys aren't even trying any more.