On Those Sad, Fake, Nerd Girls
This morning I was reading a few tumblers where the authors were complaining about all of these "fake nerd girls" who have started invading our "nerd culture" and how they should all stop and fucking die.
Let me clear some things up for you kids.
I don't care if the girl who is sitting next to me at the Doctor Who premier started watching back when Patrick Troughton took over the role or when Matt Smith stepped up. I don't care if she can't tell the difference between the Peter Parker and Eddie Brock. I could care less if she knows the damage potential of a magic missile, or that it automatically hits. Fuck, I couldn't give a shit if she can't figure out that the Teen Titans in the comics aren't the same as they are on the animated show.
What matters is that she's here now and enjoying it.
But she's not a real nerd!
Because she came into the "culture" later than you and doesn't have a fountain of useless knowledge to fall back on? Or is it because she likes the things that your hipster ass finds lame?
No, it's because she's just using our culture to get us to fawn all over her and abuse our hearts and wallets.
What. the. fuck?
What sort of sad-sack, bullshit response is that?
This "culture" that you're fetishizing has been maligned for decades and the whole reason why it's become popular today is because women started picking up on it and thought it was cool. They brought their non-geek husbands, children, and friends along to the movies and picked up the comics. They have brought more notoriety to our conventions as they dress up as their favorite characters; and they have breathed new life into our dying hobbies as they create brand new projects that you get to go all nerd rage about because they're out doing your favorite, trite, bullshit.
|She's doing it right.|
|You're doing it wrong.|
But they're not real nerds!
I am utterly convinced that any woman who walks into the room and picks up a d20, or an issue of Deadpool, should be seen as a sign that the universe is not just a cruel and unforgiving mistress, but that she has a sense of humor as well. Because while you could enjoy the woman sitting on your right as she plays her Druid her own god-damned-way and develop a genuine friendship with a person who can introduce you to your soul mate (Don't be creepy; it isn't her. It's her fine friend she'll introduce you to after you prove you're not a rapist douche bag); you won't. Instead you'll sit there with your arms crossed, huffing like the ignorant jack ass you are, and loudly bray your way through the night, "She's playing it wrong! Why'd you let her play? She obviously has no idea what's going on! Fucking fake, nerd girls!"
You know what, the next time you feel like showing your ass to a lady who comes to a convention I want you raise your right hand and take a good, hard look at it instead. Look at that hand and remember that it's the only lover and friend you've got. The people you hang out with are ashamed to know someone so closed minded and as soon as they can they'll ditch you; and while it's nice of your mother to tell you that these girls just don't recognize how special you are, the truth is that they aren't lining up to date you because you're dick.
So take a good, long look at that hand and remember that what's ruining this culture isn't the people joining it by bringing an influx of creativity and money to it, but the jackass who's got his hand raised.